First night of freedom

Posted on Wednesday, 16 June 2021 - 5:04pm by Lieutenant JG Adrianna Eberhardt

It was their first night back on board the ship. It had turned into a fulfilling reunion. Now though, Adrianna was watching Leopold sleep. She couldn't bring herself to close her eyes in fear of this being a hallucination as a result of some infliction from König, or perhaps a dream full of hope that would be crushed with an alarm in the form of ice cold water. Worse yet, what if this was the calm before the storm and Leopold had been persuaded to hurt her in a way she feared most.

"Hello, Adrianna, ready for a game?"

The woman quietly sat up, picking up her dressing gown and wrapping it round her. She stood up rather stiffly and paced the couple's bedroom for a moment, trying to combat her need for slumber, though she knew it would soon catch up with her.

"What are you waiting for."

Fear overwhelming her desire for slumber had her feeling restless, not only physically, but mentally. Adrianna ran a hand through her tightly curled hair as thoughts ran through her mind creating an out of tune orchestra playing the serenades and heartfelt tunes of anxiety for the only audience member painfully, and stupidly, listening.

"This is too good to be true. How long do you think this fantasy of happy families will last?"

"Make the most of this dream, for soon it will become a nightmare. König will make it so when you wake back up in reality."

"Do you think you deserve him? Consider all the things you've done-- even before you met him. Even the thoughts you had whilst Constantine was present."

"You got his sister shot because you decided she should be with you on the jailbreak. You said she'd be safer with the jailbreak because the authorities would check the house first or take her as collateral."

"He didn't kiss you or hug you, you had to kiss him and hug him first. He didn't miss you. He's giving you a false sense of security. He just needs to get laid after so long and you are the easiest to get right now."

Adrianna felt the need to leave the bedroom in case her thoughts turned into something audible to normal ears. This level of panic had not engulfed her since she was pulled out of Starfleet. She could feel her heart pound at a rapidly increasing rate. Her chest felt like it was being restrained tightly and she found herself struggling to breathe, gasping for oxygen.

"Ready for hell, Adrianna? Your life doesn't get to go on as normal."

The woman snatched a bottle of Baciami grappa off of a shelf. She fumbled to uncork it, allowing the cork to drop to the floor and bounce a few times. The bottle eye was in her mouth, no sooner had the grappa been given a chance to breathe. The Italian took a few gulps, enjoying the masochistic burn of the alcohol clawing its way down into her system.

"You think that'll help? Stop trying to deny yourself, your thoughts, your memories…"

Her thoughts drowned but soon she became possessed with more horror. It was insanity digging its nails in, not allowing any sort of peace. Images and short clips began flashing before her eyes flooding her reality with memories of König's vengeful actions.

Stop.

"Just tell me something worth my time, Earth scum."

Stop.

As if muscle memory, or nerve memory, if there was such a thing, her body recalled each and every vision of König's malignity. Adrianna closed her eyes like a child shying away something scary, though it didn't stop the visions from bombarding her. Downing the bottle of grappa as if it were a lifeline, whimpering between gulps.

Stop it. Stop it. Stop it.

"Tell me something, bitch!"

Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!

With each gulp, she slid down a wall, further and further until finally she was sat on the floor.

"Get a hold of yourself, Adrianna," she whispered to herself, praying for her mind to offer an inch of mercy. She didn't want to wake Leopold, he needed to rest, "this is your reality."

"This is your reality."

"You're free."

"Stop this."