Personal Log #1

Posted on Monday, 6 June 2022 - 7:13am by Ensign T'Nile Xera

The Replacement. Wait. Computer, play some classical. No, not that. Or that. Or that, something more somber. Yes, Borodin, Polovtsian Dances will do.

Oh, they do not say it out loud, but that is the look. It does not matter how impressive your career or your skills, you are replacing a member of the family. Whether conscious or not, a crew of a Starship bonds. When you spend your life aboard a ship, there can be no one else you would rather beside you, they are everything. I am, at least lucky as an Ensign. Replacement Department Heads are the same as your parent divorcing, then marrying another. Given due deference given your rank, but there will be resentment, given you are replacing someone rather beloved, the head of your team. I am just a worker drone. After some time pitching in, at least my skills are being grudgingly accepted, now the fellow Engineers know I will not fry a baffle plate or hold a hyperspanner around the wrong way.

The Captain seems nice, though nervous and possibly a little uptight. I believe uh, they want to make a good first impression, being a little more conservative and restrained. Big whoop. Make mistakes, be... Human? That is not the correct term. Be yourself, probably. Have yet to meet some of the other members of the crew, though that will happen as rosters fill up.

For me, I feel just a little old before my time. My older brother. My older half brother is not on speaking terms with me. He still blames me. Why? Mother was the one who decided to leave her husband, for Father. I was not born for some months after they got together and- Let us not bring that up again. It is only the familial bonds that tie us together. In a rather terse message, his oldest, my nephew is expecting a child. That makes me a Great Aunt at age 26. I suppose that is small consolation that my younger half brother is going to be a Great Uncle at the age of 15, Mother having remarried. Again.

The Standing Bear. I have heard the ship is from the Mirror Universe. Mirror of which, exactly? While there are sporadic references to it in the databases, I stopped reading. A good Engineer figures things out from first principles. Politics... Does not interest me. History is interesting to an extent, but it is not something to raise an eyebrow over. The ship, at least, is a working ship. No offence to the Galaxy, Sovereign, Vesta or even the Luna. They are showboats, good for showing the flag and looking impressive. No, give me a small ship and a small crew. The big ships do work, but they get the headlines. We do our work, nice and humble.

In a way, the ship is similar to a Klingon Bird of Prey. Not fancy, not powerful, but they have been around forever and the best and smartest Captains make the most, the ingenuity and brilliance and skills of their crew to get results. The Standing Bear should do us proud, once we get underway.

For now, I need sleep. End log.