Reflecting on the so far

Posted on Tuesday, 27 April 2021 - 4:06pm by Ensign Oriana Skye Sety

ON:

Personal Log Oriana Sety,

Well, here I am, in sickbay, recovering from a surgery I didn’t know I needed. I have never been so scared in my life and I don’t know that I liked it. The one thing that it did drive home was how alone I am. There was nobody to sit and worry about me, nobody to greet me but a person I just met. I was totally and utterly alone and that was painful.

I haven’t been the warmest person; I’ve always been on my own and I honestly don’t know if I am capable of forming those bonds since I was along for so long but I guess that I have to try. I owe it to myself. Maybe it is a cowardly thing since really all I want is to be less alone but I won’t settle for less.

I don’t know if that makes sense really. Anyway, I’m here for a few days and then I’m gone to my quarters until my ship comes in and I’m ready to heal on my assigned post.

To be honest I’m a little nervous. I hope that I will do a good job and make my new Captain proud. It will take a little getting used to but I adapt well, it’s been the way of my life so I should be able to adapt well to this too.

Speaking of all this and the loneliness I did meet a fascinating red headed woman, Scarlet. She seems like a kindred soul and she drew me in and I honestly can say that talking with her was easy. Perhaps I have made a friend, who knowns.

As I look around this medical bay, I feel a bit claustrophobic. I’ve never liked medical bays. I was a sickly child and spent a lot of time in hospitals so they are not my favorite. It’s a shock though that none picked up on the heart defect. This doctor was great he also said that the fear induced panic attack saved my life. If I hadn’t come in then this thing could have killed me. Once again, I’m grateful to the Gods for my life.

I do think, though, that I should be okay to leave soon and just rest in my quarters. I will probably have less of a stressful recovery.

Although I admit to a certain fear about going into the unknown, I have had a feeling of destiny since I left Earth and it grows stronger. Somehow, I think that I’m going to be right where I need to be. Once I’m settled in my new home and have decorated my quarters the way that I want I can get back to my meditating and my way of life and settle into my routine. I have a feeling that once that’s done, I will be a lot better and maybe feel more settled.

Well, that’s all for now, I guess. I’m still tired from the surgery and perhaps a nap will give me back some of the positivity that alludes me now.

Computer end log close and transfer to personal terminal Oriana Skye Sety.

OFF: