Late

Posted on Monday, 25 January 2021 - 5:39pm by Lieutenant Ryan Rose MD & Lieutenant JG Adrianna Eberhardt & Crewman Leopold Eberhardt
Edited on on Wednesday, 27 January 2021 - 11:27am

Mission: Operation: Trail of Tears

"Doctor Rose?" Adrianna came into sickbay with Leopold, her now fiancé, she was nervous but hid it well, "do you have a minute?" It was time to get a confirmation. The newly engaged couple needed to clarify and consider next steps.

"Yes of course." Ryan closed the cupboard door he'd been doing inventory on. With such a small staff, they often pulled double or even triple duty, and he didn't mind the simple yet important task. "What can I do for you?"

Adrianna kept her voice low. The woman knew how fast word travelled in ships, especially if the chain started in a med bay. "I'm not running like clockwork this month. I was wondering if you could check to see what's wrong."

Ryan immediately knew what she meant and simply nodded. "Let's head to the back." He led them to the one private room in order to provide the trio some privacy.

Adrianna squeezed Leopold's hand a moment. She followed Ryan and when in the private room, she got up on the biobed, silently. Now thoughts started to go through her head. What if she wasn't? The Italian had focused so hard on what positivity this could mean that she hadn't even considered bracing herself for a no. Internally she shook it out of her mind. The doctor was just confirming what she felt she already knew.

Ryan did a quick scan, then wasn't sure whether it was good news or bad news for the couple, so he kept it rather dry and just the facts. "Well, you aren't pregnant." He told her simply. "You're a bit run down. Stress is a very common cause of missed menstruation."

Adrianna remained silent. Her stomach sank, though outwardly she held a poker face. Her brown eyes looked to Leopold. Would he be angry, disappointed, relieved? Adrianna cleared her throat," thank you doctor Rose, I'll be sure to have some me time. May we have a minute?"

Leopold looked at Adrianna. He was honestly not sure how to react to the news as it had been a surprise to him, to begin with, but now that surprise was entirely a false alarm. "I have no idea what to say," he said shaking his head. "I certainly did not plan on becoming a dad, not so soon at least, but when you said that you might be pregnant. I think part of me was getting comfortable with the idea of becoming the father of our child."

Adrianna nodded in understanding. "I'm sorry." Two words, the only two that Adrianna could think so say. The words seemed to fall from her lips with a breath she hadn't realised she'd been holding.

"You do not have anything to be sorry about," Leopold said reassuringly, taking her hand in his own. "You just moved up to Chief of Intelligence on the starship, we have only just become engaged, and I am still having fun. I also am not ready yet. I can be if I need to be, but why rush it?" he said playfully. "When we are meant to parents, we will be parents, and hopefully that time it is because we planned it and not because my mighty man seeds have determined to go against the odds and defeat either of our contraceptive measures."

Adrianna didn't feel like laughing or even offering a smile, regardless of how uplifting Leopold was trying to be. He was right though, they weren't ready. Far from it. The ideology of the picket fence scenario had seemed all too perfect. Now though, it was more like a symphony being played with one musician out of sync and out of tune.

A few old thoughts started creeping into her mind, debating what she deserved in life. The negativity, as Mac had predicted, was rearing it's familiarly grotesque head. Adrianna went to say something but instead simply stated, "I need to go to work." The Italian stood up, off the biobed and looked to Leopold. Gawd she wanted to say more; Adrianna wanted to let him hear every thought in her head, so that he could understand the mess of emotions and darkness clouding her clarity. "I'll see you at home, later."

He had noticed this pattern of behavior in his lover. She recoiled often under pressure in tense situations and slithered away whenever she could to escape the discomfort, often burying herself in work. Leopold was unsure if it was because she was Italian, Baciami, or simply because she was Adrianna. "Please do. I don't want to be alone later. Eating by myself sucks."

Adrianna's eyes met his. She heard him, even what was unsaid. Adrianna took his hand. Mac had offered the advice, but she'd been in denial. Now was the time to do something about her habits. "I'm not ok," she admitted, in a tone of almost childlike guilt as her walls crumbled a little, "going home has brought me back a few paces and I don't like it. I've already got myself thrown in the brig and I've almost got both you and Kingsley killed. I'm not ready for life to continue because I am struggling to work out what I am actually feeling about a lot of things because I feel like I am now allowed to be open enough and I feel safe enough to have then. One thing is clear though: I fell in love with the idea of two children and a metaphoric picket fence with you. I don't need that to be happy, but it hurts that I have to wait, though I am a little relieved. I don't know what our future holds, but thanks to an artifact not too long ago, I know what mine holds and it scares me that I can never stop running and never stop being paranoid. I should have told you, but I wasn't sure what to say without you feeling I was a dead end," She paused," the time we do have though, I want it to be perfect, even in it's imperfections. I love you." Adrianna felt her eyes gloss a little, but clenched her jaw a moment, blinking to rid her eyes of any stray tears. The woman hadn't cried with a negative emotion since she was a child, at least not in front of anyone. She wasn't even sure if she could. Don Baciami had ensured that none of his children would be weak enough to allow for such emotion. Now Adrianna felt nervous at the silence and she wasn't sure if she was allowed to cry at this, but dammit, Leopold made her feel safe.

"You are not a dead end, and you are not a lost cause," replied Leopold. "I love you too and I am not going anywhere. We do not have to go back to Earth unless ordered to, never ever again. If there is too much bad there for you, then we will keep you away from it. Your mother is welcome to come visit us anytime she wants."

Adrianna offered a small smile and wiped her eyes with the back of her sleeve, concealing the fact tha she'd ever been emotional. "I don't think we'll be seeing her again. Even with the changes happening on Earth," she replied replied softly before asking, "you're not disappointed at all, are you? This is relief, isn't it?"

Leopold shook his head. "Disappointed? No, never. I get to marry you and wake up next to you. That will never be a disappointment. I have a family with you already even if it is just the two of us, Adrianna."

"I meant, are you releived that I am not pregnant," she clarified, but the answer he had given was one that helped soothe her either way. Adrianna smiled a little, "we have to give the room back to the medical team and I really do have to get to work. We'll talk tonight, ok?"

"I am alright," replied Leopold reassuringly. "We can discuss it more later tonight, but I am okay. I can't say I'm relieved that you are not pregnant, but I am not disappointed that you aren't. It just was not the time for us to be expanding the family."

Adrianna simply nodded. She kissed him softly, "one day."

"Until then," he echoed back. "It is just us and we have our family."

"We can enjoy practising. We're about to be honeymooning," she ran her fingers through his hair, brushing his fringe out of his eyes, "I love you, fiancé."

"I love you too, my sweet belladonna," he said softly.

 

Comments (1)