Working on maternity leave

Posted on Sunday, 7 February 2021 - 12:09pm by Lieutenant JG Adrianna Eberhardt & Lieutenant T'Lanna Vali
Edited on on Sunday, 7 February 2021 - 12:22pm

Mission: Operation: Trail of Tears
Location: Quarters
Timeline: 2394 MD 07 1000 hours

{ON}

Returning to her quarters from visiting with Jayce, T’Lanna had headed for the shower to freshen up. Her quarters felt oddly quiet with Raith working, even though she could feel her son above all others onboard she still felt the lack of his personal presence, though she was reassured he was in good hands with Ryan and Jarin.

Adrianna sounded the chime, she needed someone who could explain things she couldn't. It was a bit of a curve ball for her, but she needed this.

T’Lanna looked towards the door “Come in”

Adrianna stepped in and smiled.

“Adrianna” T’Lanna smiled warmly. “Please come in. What can I do for you?”

"Firstly, congratulations on the baby," Adrianna said warmly. She was after all a family oriented person, it was her culture. She lifted up a small bag, "I was always raised to bring food after a birth, so I hope you like gnocchi soup."

“Actually that sounds wonderful” T’Lanna grinned. “Thank you. Is there enough for two? We could eat and talk.”

Adrianna grinned, "enough for two for five days." Adrianna made her way to the kitchen and poured put two bowls. Walking to the dining area with them and two spoons. She was unsure how to approach the topic.

T’Lanna motioned to the sofa where they could sit comfortably. “I get the feeling you’re here for more than just a social visit” T’Lanna gave Adrianna a warmer smile. “Do you need to talk?”

Adrianna nodded, "I know you are on maternity leave." She paused, hesitation showing, "I grew up in a family that would have done anything to ensure I kept my silence about problems in my head, but I'm here now - - in Starfleet, I mean. I feel ready to try and get myself to the point of being a more human version of myself. I can't do that without actual help. I don't want to go back to being 'myself'--only the new me. If that makes sense. "

T’Lanna nodded. “I think I understand, you need help exploring what it is to be more human. To let yourself talk about what bothers you instead of keeping it to yourself. Am I getting there?” She looked at Adrianna curiously.

"It's not so much, keeping it to myself sometimes," she replied, "it's also about going about it the right way." Adrianna nodded, "I went back to Italy a few times, a few too many, but on my last time, I saw one of my seven brothers. The chapter in my life that was to do with my family has been closed. I don't know how to feel about something I already knew. It feels like I'm grieving twice without knowing how to grieve in a more productive way instead of delving back into myself. I am surrounded by a new life, new family, new support networks. I don't want to lose them too."

“Grief is not just something we feel at the time of a loss.” T’Lanna paused to enjoy some of her soup. “Grief can effect us years after a loss, and that loss doesn’t have to be a death. It can be any kind of loss, the loss of a friendship, or even the loss of the closeness we’ve had with someone.”

Adrianna agreed with the description, "since returning. I've had nightmares. A lot of them. Mostly memories of near misses or some of my -," she wasn't sure on the right way to phrase it, "some un-kosher things, I have done. It's like my brain is forcing me to be that person again."

“Only you can choose who you want to be Adrianna” T’Lanna paused again to enjoy more of her soup. “Perhaps what you need is to come to terms with some of those ... un-kosher things you did. To move on you need to let go of the past.”

"I don't think there are many that would forgive me," Adrianna offered, "therefore I do not feel I can forgive myself."

T’Lanna nodded. “Have you tried talking to any of these people? To see?” T’Lanna gave Adrianna a curious look. “If you cant then you need to find another way of finding peace. That way you’ll be able to move on.”

"A few times," she replied, "they didn't end so well. At the time I was 'un-kosher', I didn't have a choice. I have a choice now. I thought I'd feel forgiven when my father was found guilty, but it didn't do anything to the way I felt."

“You still feel the guilt, have you thought about writing letters or a diary? Just for you, no one else. Just so you can get your feelings out in the open. To be able to say what you need to say. You could always burn the letters or delete the diary afterwards if you keep it on a PADD. It’s just so you get to let go.”

Adrianna mulled it over. She'd not heard of that before it seemed like a good option though. "Does it work?" she asked, "the writing release."

T’Lanna nodded, “Some will say yes and others will say no, it’s very much down to the person and how it makes them feel. All I can say is, give it a try.”

Adrianna was certainly willing to try. She didn't want for Mac to be right. There was no way she wanted to go back to old personality habits. "Thank you," Adrianna smiled and finished her soup, "if it works, and in return for listening to me on maternity leave, I am happy to baby-sit whenever. I'm one of eight and have a lot of neices and nephews."

T’Lanna smiled warmly. “That will be gratefully accepted when I need a break. At the moment Jayce is still under the care of Ryan and Jarin, he has a genetic condition that caused problems that need to be repaired. It seems I had it too, I just didn’t know anything about it until recently. He’s doing well so it gives me peace of mind.”

"Bless him," Adrianna cooed, "he'll be fine. If you were, he will be."

T’Lanna nodded. “I know, I’m just finding adjusting to being apart from him a little difficult. My emotions are on overdrive which doesn’t help.” She shrugged her shoulders. “I hope I’ve been of some help to you.”

Adrianna knew the feeling, but without the maternal instinct. "I think it's something you don't adjust to. I think that's part of being a mother. As for me, yes, you did help. Thank you."

T’Lanna nodded. “Then I’m happy. As for Jayce, I can still feel him. It’s a bond that’s always there between mother’s and their children. It helps put my mind at rest some. Anyway, if there’s anything else you need feel free to drop by and see me again.”

Adrianna nodded, knowing the hint, "I appreciate the help. I'll try to not stop by a lot whilst you're on maternity leave, especially when you get him home." She stood up, "enjoy the soup."

“You’re welcome anytime Adrianna, you don’t have to rush off.” T’Lanna smiled warmly. “I wasn’t hinting for you to leave.”

Of course, she couldn't hide from a Betazoid. "You need rest either way," Adrianna offered, "no doubt I'll see you soon."

T’Lanna nodded. “Thank you for the wonderful soup. I’ll enjoy more of it after I take a nap.” She smiled.

Adrianna smiled, "you're welcome. Let me know if you need anything. Having seen my sister in laws go through it, I know it's exhausting and full of curve balls."

“I will and that’s a promise” T’Lanna nodded, thankful she had such a good friend in Adrianna.

{OFF}