We didn't start the fire...

Posted on Monday, 8 March 2021 - 4:51pm by Lieutenant JG Adrianna Eberhardt & Lieutenant T'Lanna Vali

Mission: Operation: Trail of Tears

Adrianna had strangely slept better since talking to Leopold. She'd even managed to write a few letter. She knew that T'Lanna was still supposed to be on leave but with her being in meetings, she opted to try her luck. Here the Italian was, at the door and sounding the chime of the ship's shrink.

T’Lanna had dropped by her office to pick up some PADDs, as the door chime rang she walked over to answer it. “Adrianna, please come in.” She stepped aside and motioned for Adrianna to enter.

Adrianna smiled, "you look well. Weird seeing you in the office so soon though."

“Oh I’m just here to pick up some PADDs” T’Lanna smiled. “What can I do for you?”

"It's actually just a quick one," Adrianna replied, "so I won't keep you long, and frankly, I could have just sent you a message, but I like face to face."

“It’s okay, really!” T’Lanna noticed an air of nervousness. “How’s about you take a seat and tell me what’s wrong.”

The Italian ran a hand through her loosely curly hair as she sat down, "last time I saw you, you suggested writing letters to try and help guilt pass and so on."

“That’s right” T’Lanna nodded as she took a seat and made herself comfortable.

Adrianna cleared her throat unsure of how to ask, feeling rather stupid, "my question is: what do you do with the letters after?"

“That’s up to you” T’Lanna smiled. “If it helps you can burn them and release your guilt and fears into the fire, some find it helps to watch the fire consume their letters. You could keep them if you want, the choice is yours.”

"I suppose destroying it would encourage release," Adrianna mulled it over, "perhaps airlock instead of fire. I don't want to have pyromania charges." The woman chuckled a little, in thought, trying to ease tension she hadn't realised she had had.

“Are you sure you’re alright?” T’Lanna gave Adrianna a curious look. “You seem pretty tense. Has anything happened you need to talk about?”

Adrianna's shoulders seem to droop. She was unsure how to answer, "I'm getting there. I promise. I'm working on me and these letters have brought up a lot. Felt like opening pandora's" Adrianna gestured the word for 'box', unable to remember the word, "I feel good for having done it, but I feel that it has come at a cost." Adrianna then grinned a little, "it's also a little bit of habit from always being told to avoid people like you and hairdressers."

“Avoid people like me huh?” T’Lanna grinned. “Don’t worry about Pandora’s Box, there’s always a way to shut it if you have to. The control always lies with you.”

Adrianna smiled," to confirm: psychiatric people, not new mums." Adrianna hesitated at the word 'control' and responded, "control. That's a difficult one. I have held it together for so long that I feel the need to lose control once. Just once. It's like if you blow up a balloon. You can pop it if it gets too full of air, or you can let some air out. Both have the same effect but one scares the living hell out of people." She paused," I'm not saying I'll go on a murderous rampage, but gawd! You know?" Gawd, Adrianna hoped she knew, or this could get weird.

“The need to let loose, to blow your top and let yourself rip!” T’Lanna nodded. “I totally understand, just for me it’s different. I’m a telepath and a strong one at that, letting loose in my case could harm a whole lot of people! In your case you could lock yourself away in the holodeck and have as much of a rampage as you liked. For me that simply isn’t possible.”

Adrianna smiled, "that must be hard for you. It's a shame you can't let loose like I can." She thought about it, "I may see if I can find a rege room programme. They were fun but also a great stress reliever." She looked back to T'Lanna, "out of curiosity. How would you get let loose."

“Me?” T’Lanna paused. “It would take something extreme to get past my control, trust me it’s not something you’d ever want to happen.”

Adrianna couldn't help but chuckle, "you're a psychology specialist. Have you heard of red button syndrome?" she then waived T'Lanna off, "Don't worry. I'm not dumb enough, but I have to admit that I am intrigued."

“Trust me it wouldn’t be nice. Every telepath in the vicinity would definitely feel it and heaven help any non telepath that got in the way!” She shook her head. “It happened once when I was recovering from being Borg. I put 3 Betazoids in Sickbay and the poor nurse who tried to help ended up in a coma. They all recovered fortunately. Hence why I stay firmly in control of myself.”

Adrianna winced, "geez, that I can understand. Last time I lost control, I just put three... Four people in--" the woman bit her tongue, "well, I guess I shall leave you be. It was only supposed to be a quick question. Sorry." Adrianna stood up and smiled.

“It’s okay” T’Lanna smiled warmly. “It’s been nice having your company. Anytime you need to talk just drop on by.”

"Thank you," Adrianna nodded before taking her leave. She had been grateful of the courage she had mustered to talk to T'Lanna professionally. Hopefully it would help long term.