Let Someone In
Posted on Wednesday, 19 August 2020 - 3:25am by Lieutenant JG Adrianna Eberhardt
"Papi, why are you quiet?" a seven-year-old Adrianna asked curiously, to her father.
The man was sat at a large wooden desk, his face being hidden by his hands, in an attempt to block out reality for a few short minutes. The sound of the little girl's voice startled him back to the present and he looked up with a weak smile, trying to hide his current mood, "I am merely thinking, piccolina."
Adrianna climbed her way onto Dario's lap, curling up into his fatherly hold, "can I help?"
The innocence captivated Dario and his smile became more genuine. He offered a kiss to the top of her messy curls and quietly said, "maybe."
Adrianna knew 'maybe'. Maybe meant 'no, but humour me'. Thoughts aside, the little girl simply replied, "try."
It was a random scene, but it was one that captured Dario Baciami's human side. Outside of the violence and corruption, the man was a loving father. Adrianna remembered what had happened next, though foggy and slightly distorted because of the age and comprehension of the little tyke. It brought Adrianna to this moment.
Since joining Starfleet, Adrianna had kept herself to herself. She didn't feel deserving of kindness, feeling the need to continue punishing herself for her family's actions. Corruption, violence, fear-mongering: it was just the tip of the charges. Some self-reflection further to Soral's comments months ago brought some thoughts and realisations to light. Though there was no way in hell she'd admit it to a shrink or even to Soral: he was right.
Adrianna had joined Starfleet to make up for ethical errors and the promotion of them. Over the few short years, she had managed to assist in the prosecution of several criminals and organisations; She'd managed to end the Baciami tyranny, or rather a great deal of it, by giving evidence the minute that she left Earth; She'd helped save lives and influence positive change in others.
Before her, stood an opportunity for peace, love and happiness.
Peace: in her inner self. There was room for forgiveness. She'd served her time self-punishing and now, though a difficult habit to break, she needed to break it. No more did Adrianna want people to point out her self loathing. Assumptions were consistently made about her mental state and it was mortifying to have the same conversations over and over again with management and potential new friends. After all, who would ever want to be around someone so depressive?
Furthermore, life had started to reward her. The tides of karma seemed to have changed and it was bringing forth such joy, it would be a shame to waste her youth and life indeed. She'd found friendship in Echo, Maximus and Eyelaya. Especially Eyelaya, actually. Somehow, the person she thought she'd dislike the most had brought Adrianna out of her shell and feeling chatty again. Then she'd found something a bit more than friendship in Leopold, though he was good for her on a friendship level too. He was quirky and understanding, with one hell of a sense of humour that Adrianna could get on board with.
For now, though, Adrianna was back on board and needed to maintain her happy state by catching up with those she'd rediscovered herself with: her happiness. First stop though, the gym.
She took a breath and smiled at a family picture on her dresser, "one day, I'll tell you all about it."