Anchor

Posted on Thursday, 28 December 2023 - 11:43am by Commander Soral & Lieutenant Alex Kingsley

Mission: Operation: Lobes & Liberties
Location: USS Standing Bear-A / XO Quarters
Timeline: Just Prior to Rescue of Away Team

ON:

The single flame burned brightly, the sole source of light designed to aid with concentration while the scents released were to aid meditation. The candle had been one of three which Belladonna had brought aboard the Standing Bear, each baring carved symbols which would be familiar to anyone who had spent time within the monasteries of Vulcan. Valued possessions which no replicator could reproduce.

Deep in meditation, the interruption was not a welcome one as the door chime rang out again. And again.

Rising gracefully, she adjusted the traditional robe as she crossed the room to open the door - curious to know who was visiting and if this was the source of the sudden emotional disturbance she could feel attacking her defences. As soon as the doors began to open she caught a glimpse of a familiar figure before he all but fell on top of her. Fortunately her reflexes were quick and her body stronger than it may first appear, and she managed to steady the Commander and guide him inside while the doors closed over to grant them privacy.

“Commander, what has happened?”

"My...my wife has died the bond is broken." Thankfully Pren had known enough to help with the mind meld but he was still feeling weak and his half sister's help, although appreciated and surprising, had only done so much. The only person he felt he could talk to, other then Oriana who had her own hands full was Belladonna. He'd left his sister on the Bridge, while she wasn't crew she was an XO and the ship needed strong command presents while he licked his wounds.

An arched eyebrow was the only surprise to register at the news. A human may have responded with a pointless enquiry as to his certainty of his wife’s fate, but a human did not understand the bond which existed between Vulcan mates. It was powerful, and yet dangerous to both parties. “I grieve with thee, Commander. And I will assist however I can,” she assured him as she helped him settle into a seat near the small mediation shrine she had created.

"I cannot find my anchor. I tried to meditate. Commander T'Varis was able to assist somewhat with a meld but...meditation is necessary yet I cannot find...the ability within me."

“I would be honoured to assist,” Belladonna replied simply. “Indeed, I was meditating just prior to your arrival. Come, let me help you. I have created a shrine to our home world which I find aides in my meditation. I trust it can now assist with your own.”

He looked around. "It certainly is authentic. Something I will miss when I go to New Romulus."

“I did not know of your intention to leave,” she replied after a slight hesitation before she helped settle him into place so they could sit facing one another with the candle between them. “I can assist you in acquiring some of these items if you wish. Perhaps I can help with establishing your own shrine… but for now, we must help your mind heal. I have been fortunate enough to spend time with the priestesses on Vulcan. If you will permit, with a mind meld I can help guide your meditation as needed and help you find some peace.”

He smiled at her. "Belladonna you do realize I am...or rather was V'shar right?"

“Which in this moment will not aide you nor does it negate what I believe these humans call a ‘friendly’ gesture,” came the calm reply.

"It does not but I am aware that you are here at my...grandfather's behest to bring me to New Romulus. However, your aid is much appreciated."

“He did not inform me that you knew…” Belladonna began after a moment. “I was not attempting to deceive you Commander. Of course he wishes you to join him but I was not sent here to force your hand. Your grandfather believes I can learn much from you, and he is correct. You navigate this life in Starfleet, full of these highly illogical humans, with ease. It is commendable.”

"He did a great job your records. Very genuine Starfleet. As I said your assistance would be appreciated.” He held out his hands to join to her own. "I am afraid you must guide my mind in this."

With a nod, steeling herself for what she anticipated would be a raging storm of grief and pain, she placed her hand in his and began a chant which had been passed down through generations. Both of them focused upon the solitary flame which seemed to flare up and surround them in a warmth that felt safe and secure. Tentatively she sought out Soral, opening herself to the torment which plagued him in his grief, her grip on his hands tightening to avoid recoiling.

Breathing deeply she strengthened the connection. Seeking him amidst the turmoil while calming his mind as she traversed the connection between them. Focus upon a time you felt at peace, Soral, and show me that time, she urged.

Images flashed in his mind. Most of them his family, feeling most at peace with them, with Alex and even Lexi. But in that peace the double loss hit him again threatening to pull him under his grief like stormy ocean waves beckoning him to come to them to get lost in them.

Arms seemed to wrap around him as the waves of grief crashed down, pulling him to the surface. “Your mind is focused upon the loss, the pain. Yet those are distortions of how you felt at the time. Here…”

The world shifted to drop them into a memory, one which belonged to his mirror self as he held his newborn son. And then another, as he stood in attendance at the wedding ceremony of Mac and Haru. One after another Bella pulled memories from his subconscious, allowing the feelings associated with those moments to offer some relief.

He clung to the memories allowing the feelings of contentment and peace to take root. Suddenly he stood on Romulus proper looking very much younger and a wave of pure peace and belonging washed over him. "Home," he said.

“Yes,” Belladonna smiled. “Hold on to that. Make this your moment to return to if you feel overwhelmed or lost. Because this piece of Romulus is always with you, nobody can take it away.”

Sudden anger spiked, 'Indeed but the Sun's nova did and the Federation did nothing."

“Which is why they do not deserve your loyalty,” she said in a soothing voice. “Time and again they have failed you. But now you can help our people rebuild. But only if you can heal. Find balance.”

He sighed. "You are right." It changed back to Romulus. "The planet was beautiful. Did you get a chance to see it before it went nova?"

“No, I was never able to visit,” she said quietly, allowing herself to appreciate the beauty as he remembered it.

He smiled. "Come let me show you the Romulus I saw." The landscape of his mind changed. He could feel his heartrate slow as he walked the cobblestone paths. Little shops littered the street, kids playing, store keeps selling their wear. So modern yet so ancient at the same time. "This was Rakali Village. They focused less on modern conveniences and more on the old ways. It was known as the village in time, the first time I came here something called to me."

“A very Romulan contradiction,” she noted. “Yet you continued to reside on Vulcan. Query… why?”

He smiled, "I love Vulcan they are as much a part of me as Romulus. Part of me wanted our people to unite the way that they should, Romulans, Remans, Vulcans all one." He sighed. "I built my home on Vulcan because I thought that my writing was the way to go and being V'Shar gave me what i needed to push for unity. But a large part was fear, the fear that i would not be accepted here. Yet here I was accepted without question. When I learned that it was too late to relocate here."

“Uniting our people will take a long time, with many challenges ahead,” she pointed out. “But you will succeed and many, including myself, are ready to follow your lead. Let that purpose, that drive to unite, be your solid ground Soral. Let it centre you even in turmoil.”

"Alexandra was my centre. Breathing without her is difficult. I do not know if I can keep going. I have lost her so many times but this....was final."

“Grief is powerful and reflects our love, and you loved one another fiercely,” she pointed out. “But you can breathe. You must. To honour her, and yourself. You must be strong for all, but mostly for yourself. I will assist you.”

He studied her. "It is a great task you take on." He looked over at the sky feeling the wind in his memory. Tell me something about yourself. There is only so much a file can say." Focusing on someone else allowed him to put the last day out of his mind if only temporarily.

“I am the youngest of four siblings, my father a diplomat and my mother a musician. My Romulan heritage stems from her, my father while appreciating her skill, possesses no such skill.”

"My mother too was Romulan. Do you play any instrument?"

“Not well, I was fonder of crafting, much of the detailing on my meditation shrine I carved myself long ago. I find creating something unique most gratifying,” she confided.

The space around them seemed to morph and change until they stood on a hot plain rivers of lava dancing around them. The stars above seemed be so low that one could almost reach out and touch them. There was no moon in sight but the stars were plenty to light the are and cast shadows on the sand. He motioned around them. "The fire plains of Vulcan. Another favored place of mine." He held out his hand. "Come I will show you something."

Clasping his hand she kept pace with him, feeling how these familiar places were easing his awareness of the pain which raged within him.

He lead her past the bubbling lava rivers and into a cave. There sat a small bedroll and a makeshift table with tools and clearly several made objects. A small fire burned and a boy sat there eating a meager meal a Selath, resting next to him. "My home for a while when I was young. When I didn't have a place to go." He led her to a small corner where a homemade shrine stood to the Vulcan Gods. "I too build stuff he showed her."

“Most impressive,” she complimented as she studied the work of a young boy that would rival many an adult who called such things their craft.

"We are all built by our lives, our wins, our losses, our traumas. My live seems to have more the last. There are times when I wish nothing more then to just sit and allow life to pass me by. Times like today when I lost a part of what humans would call my soul."

“Our trials, our challenges are the price for those moments of true wonder within this life. Think, of al the things you have created with your own two hands or the new life you cradled as your children were born. These things can never be taken from you, but grief and doubt can shroud them.”

"Indeed. There is that too. I must find balance."

“Which is why I am here,” she assured him with a curt nod.

He studied her. "Perhaps time to end the meditation. Duty waits not for grief."

“True. Please know, I am always at your disposal, should you require assistance.”

Slowly they emerged out of his mind, the candle having burned half way. He took a moment to steady himself. "Will you be returning to New Romulus with myself and Ensign Sety?"

“It would be an honour, Commander,” Belladonna replied with a small nod as she leaned over an extinguished the candle.

He slowly unfolded his frame from the floor feeling the grief but feeling more stable. "Well then, I have a bridge to retrieve. I thank you for your assistance."

OFF: