Deepest, Darkest Fears

Posted on Monday, 27 July 2020 - 7:27pm by Lieutenant T'Lanna Vali

Mission: Operation: Jabberwocky
Location: Temporary Quarters - USS Monarch
Timeline: MD3

{ON}

Having made her way to her quarters on the Monarch for some much needed rest T’Lanna hadn’t been sat down long before her eyes got heavy and she’d fallen asleep. Sleep was precious but with her days of recovery from being a drone on her mind, she’d soon entered into more of a restless than a restful sleep.

The nightmare from the nebula made its return, playing over and over again in her head in ever greater detail. She watched as Raith was surrounded by Borg, his uniqueness being added to the collective so he could service her, as her ‘mother’ had put it. It all made no sense, her mother was dead and she wasn’t a Borg Queen. She’d become a drone just like T’Lanna had been and yet the nightmare seemed so real. It felt real, there was the smell of water in the air, the breeze on her face and Raith’s response to her being there. It was too real to be ignored and disregarded, she tossed and turned as her mind delved deeper.

The scene changed back to the day she was assimilated, the day had begun like any other aboard a starship. They’d come across a world that was too fascinating to be ignored, with the level of threat deemed low her father had chosen to go down to the pkanet’s Surface himself. A while later all hell had broken loose, she remembered the ship coming under attack and her mother telling her it would all be okay. Moments later she’d watcged terrified as her mother had been dragged away by augmented beings and they’d come for her too.

What happened next had been more painful and terrifying than she could ever put into words, her body violated with implants and her mind forced into a deafening world of voices that took over her free will and drove her to be ‘one’ with them. She’d never seen her mother again after that until the day in the nebula.

As for her father the first time she’d seen him was when she’d awoken from the surgery to remove her implants, she barely remembered the crash that had led to her liberation. She remembered how deafening silence was at first, she’d gotten used to hearing the collective voices in her mind and then there’d been nothing except the buzz of quieter voices in her mind as picked up by her own senses. At first she’d cowered away, refused to eat, drink or communicate.

Her father was the first person to break her wall of fear of defiance, the way his mind had connected with hers she remembered him ... “Daddy?” She’d sat staring at him for a long time. Was it a dream, was he real or imaginary?

“It is I T’Lanna” her father’s voice was real, a solo voice that filled her mind with memories of happier times. Memories that had helped her through all the following days of more surgery, rehabilitation,and learning to be part of a normal civilisation and not a collective.

There had been requests from Starfleet, those wanting to examine her and ask their questions about the Borg but her father had kept them at bay. She hadn’t realised just how much he’d protected and shielded her until recently and now her dreams wee revealing even more of those memories to her. There’d been times she’d struggled, even an occasion when she’d tried to run away to find her way back to the collective but her father had encouraged her back.

Her teenage years hadn’t been easy, learning to control her Betazoid abilities and combine them with her Vulcan half. She’d been less than happy when her father had pressed the need for the purging of her emotions. She’d been cold and unemotional as a drone and that’s how she saw purging of emotions, she didn’t want to be cold and unemotional again. She wanted to experience emotions to their fullest, to enjoy feeling everything she could feel. It had lead to clashes with her father, to words said that were unkind yet it never phased her father or so it seemed.

Her mind came back to current time, to the voice of her mother in the nebula. She called and T’Lanna had heard her yet when she’d been brought onboard the shuttle she was dead. Her fear level shot off the scale, what did it mean? Was something yet to come that she and Raith needed to be prepared for? Was it all just a crazy nightmare? If it was how could she share it with Raith? Nothing made any sense.

All she knew was she loved Raith and her fear of losing him was immobilising, in her mind she watched as the nightmare played over again as Raith was assimilated. She couldn’t stop it! She tossed and turned before finally awaking with a scream, her forehead and body covered with perspiration. She sat up and looked around, taking several deep breaths before finally swinging her legs around ready to walk to the bathroom to take a shower and refresh.

She stood albeit a little shakily, as she moved past the edge of the coffee table she stumbled over her own shoes, unable to catch herself she toppled and landed squarely on the glass causing it to shatter under her weight. She lay dazed and confused before noticing blood, and a large shard of glass protruding from her side. She slowly reached up a hand and hit her comm badge.

=/\= Vali to Rose ... Ryan I need you! Medical ... emergency. =/\=

{TBC}