The Bond Softly Breaks

Posted on Monday, 3 August 2020 - 7:04pm by Commander Soral & Lieutenant Alex Kingsley

Mission: Operation: Jabberwocky
Location: Earth, Australia
Timeline: 2393 - MD08 into MD09

{ON:}

Tired from a long and fun day all had retired to sleep. Soral lay in bed finding sleep to be restless. Dark images and pain filled his mind. His head moved restlessly on the pillow, sweat coated his forehead. Soral, aware that he was dreaming fought his way to consciousness. He called for his wife who stood in front of him but whom he could not reach. The more he tried the farther she seemed until she disappeared. A sharp pain ran through his mind as if a blade itself had cut him in two.

Awoken by a sudden emptiness, one she now realised had only been imagined, Alex fought off the wave of disorientation. Unable to sleep she had sat by the open window, enjoying the cool air on her skin, listening to the waves in the distance ... eventually she had been lulled to sleep. Succumbing to the exhaustion which she had been fighting since lunch, she realised she must have fallen asleep. For a moment she couldn’t move, fear gripping her heart. Tears ran down her face as a realisation came to her. He was gone!

With a burst of strength he sat up crying out her name. Disorientated and half blind he stumbled from the bed towards the bathroom. Nausea chasing him all the way.

“Soral!” She pushed off the blanket, his need and pain giving her a focus to make herself move. To think. No! It wasn’t supposed to hurt him! Guilt flooded through her as she dropped to her knees at his side, her voice breaking with emotion as she reached for him. “I’m here, I’m right here Soral...”

He emptied his stomach into the bathroom. Wave, upon wave of nausea washing over him. He felt her hand on his back, felt her pressing a cloth to his forehead after he'd fallen back against the wall. He could feel her no longer in his mind. Darkness settled over him and his body shook. He reached for her in the dimness of the night.

“I’m here,” Alex promised, using the cloth to help soothe him as she cradled him against her. The guilt sweeping through her was intense, suffocating as she tried to stave it off by fussing over him. Caring for him in the only way she knew. With some difficult she ran fresh water over the cloth and resumed gently wiping his forehead. “I’m sorry my love,” she whispered as she leaned in to kiss him.

He held onto her. "The bond...is severed." He simply said. His worry was for her as much as for himself. This would be a bitter pill to swallow. One that would test them both to their core.

“I know,” she cried as she clung to him. Trying to physically feel what she could no longer sense.

He held onto her. "It will be alright." He took a moment to steady himself closing his eyes. "I know how you think. You must not put any blame on yourself." He knew for a fact she would but this was not her fault. "This is the fault of Sara Kingsley. However we will get through this." Slowly the room stopped spinning and the nausea, still present, leveled out a little.

She said nothing. Her mother was blaming herself for telling Sara what had happened in the kitchen, and what happened in the kitchen was most definitely her doing. If she had control, if she hadn’t just ridden the wave of Soral’s emotions, then Sara would never have acted. To her mind her logic was sound. At least when she could focus on logical chain of thoughts.

He let out a shaky breath. "We will get though this. You must believe it." He sighed. "I...need your assistance." He said. "My eyes are burning. I cannot see properly." He hated asking her because she'd use it as another reason to blame herself for something that was not her fault.

“What can I do?” she asked as she took his hand. “Should I call Dr Hades?”

"No...this is normal. It will be alright." Slowly with her support he got up and they found their way back to the bed. He took her hand. "Are you alright?"

“A headache, that’s all,” she said after a long silence, helping him settle into bed. “You said this wouldn’t hurt you...”

"It will pass." He closed his eyes but felt when she slipped into bed. He then did something he seldom did He lay his head on her shoulder seeking comfort. Perhaps it was undignified and unvulcan but there was no one that could make him feel better and more secure then his wife. His mind worked with this new development. Old insecurities worked around in his mind.

Shifting so that she could hold him, she wished there was more she could do for him. Softly kissing his forehead she whispered words of comfort, hoping that perhaps sleep would allow him some relief. Either way she wasn’t letting go.

It would be hours later that both had fallen asleep. Soral slept softly so when he woke he made sure Alex was aright and then padded softly to the kitchen. His vision had returned and the dizziness was minimal. He ordered a glass of water and sat. His mind was jammed with problems in logic and lapses that he didn't hear Laura enter the kitchen.

“Good morning,” the woman offered with a bright, cheerful smile. “Severine is still fast asleep! I cannot tell you how lovely it was to read a bedtime story again... of course I don’t think even Alex asked quite so many questions!”

"Indeed. A Vulcan child's curiosity is insatiable. We tend to analyze everything." He said absently as he drank his water He felt different today, a little ill of course but hollow as if a part of him had died last night along with the bond.

“I will start breakfast,” Laura enthused as she busied herself, discreetly eyeing Soral. “Alex still asleep?”

"Indeed. Her body requires rest to heal. It would be logical for her to rest today. I shall make all the arrangements for the governess for Severine and Soval as well as for their transfer from Vashti to Vulcan." He paused, "I must also arrange for transport back to the ship."

“Rest sounds very wise,” Laura nodded, “but before all of that -“

She sat down in the adjacent seat, not too close, not wishing to make him uncomfortable. “Talk to me.”

He looked up. "What do you wish to discuss?" He asked, a stall on his part.

“Soral, Vulcan you may be but you are clearly in pain, distracted. I imagine, protective as you are that you will try not to burden your wife, so speak to me. You are my son.”

"Indeed." He said.

Soral paused for a moment to take some water and then began speaking again. "A long time ago my great grandfather had a condition known as L'tak Torai. It is rare ... but he passed it to his son, my grandfather, who passed it to his son, my father, who passed it to his sons, my half brothers and myself." He paused. "It is a condition that incorporates a spatial and order dysphasia it...functions like dyslexia on your Earth where one cannot read properly or write. But there is more to it. An inability to do simple things such as tie ones shoes or tell directions as simple as this is left and this is right. " He paused. "As I child I had a mid level case that I was able to overcome during my time at the Vulcan learning academy. There was a professor who was a specialist in L'tak Torai as her son had it. She taught me to control the symptoms to train my brain in a way that my coordination improved. The symptoms now are so mild they only show in times of great stress." He paused. "It is logical that my son has it. Liviana and Severine would not be so protective of him if he did not. I find that the bond severing has ... impeded my ability to control and master my symptoms. It is... not a pleasant experience. And yes, I do not want Alexandra to know."

“Soral,” Laura began kindly, “while she may not be at her best, my daughter is observant. And if she thinks you are concealing things... well her temper can be as wild as her hair. Secrets between husband and wife... it usually ends badly.”

She took his hand, “I am sorry. I cannot even imagine but I know how much the thought of it pained you. Alex was inconsolable when I finally got to be alone with her. You are both trying hard to be strong to protect one another, the human in me says that is going to hurt you both more.”

There was wisdom in her words. "She blames herself. I know she does and it is illogical since she had no control over Sara's actions. I cannot...understand why she blames herself."

“Humans, even half humans, are rarely logical,” Laura reminded him with a warm smile. “I imagine, from knowing her as I think I do, that she feels a lot of things right now. Helpless, angry, afraid, lost, vulnerable... and yes guilty. In her head she knows she could not have done anything to stop this. But in her heart? She knows what you have both lost, she knows how much the bond meant to you both and her biggest fear, that your gift would hurt you someday - was coming true. And she knows all of it was because of what she can do. Could do. Only time can ease it, Soral. Be patient.”

He gave a nod. "May I ask a favour?"

“Always,” she smiled.

"I have much to tend to today. If you can stay with Alexandra. I will also be required to put myself in a healing trance. Doctor Hades had agreed to supervise."

“Of course,” she promised. “Is there anything else I can do?”

"Actually." He stood and headed over to the shopping bags that had been delivered. He pulled out a pearl white box with a sapphire ribbon. He put the box on the counter between them. "This is for you." Inside he'd ensured that a beautiful Vulcan dress had been created just for Laura.

“For me? You really didn’t have to,” she smiled fondly. “But thank you.”

With care she unravelled the ribbon, lifting the lid to reveal a garment in the exact same shade as the ribbon. Lifting it from the box she held it up, realising it consisted of two layers, the first a paler shade of blue which was more fitted and sat underneath the richer fabric and complimented it perfectly. “It is beautiful.”

"Thank you for all you have done for us. I wish there was a way to thank you and your husband for raising my wife and for loving her."

“You silly cookie,” Laura smiled, “you do that by loving her like you do.”

He covered her hand with his briefly. "May I ask a personal question....that is in addition to this one."

“Of course.”

"Once you finish your work here will you come to Vulcan for a while. I know that Soval and Severine are not Alexandra's children but I cannot help but feel that your influence on them would be positive."

“I ... I would love to,” she smiled, looking shellshocked at the unexpected request.

"Thank you mother." He stood. "I will go check on Alexandra." He kissed her cheek and headed to the room.

Laura watched him go before looking around her kitchen. “I hope there is a replicator on Vulcan...” she mused.

Hearing the door to the room open, Alex stirred before pulling the bedsheet up over her head to block out the sunlight. Feeling someone sit on the bed, she shifted so she could peer out at Soral. “Are you okay?” She asked him softly.

"I am better." He said. He lifted the sheet slightly to see her face better. "Are you feeling well?"

“I’ll be okay,” she promised.

"You must rest today." He said as he stood and began to change.

“Rest is such a subjective term,” she commented as she sat up, “are you going somewhere?” She aimed for casual curiosity and missed the mark, instead hitting somewhere between anxious and concerned.

He turned and walked back. "I am. I have to take care of some things with respect to bringing the children back to Vulcan and I ..." As he talked he tried to button his shirt realizing that his L'tak Torai was inhibiting him. The stress of the last few months, the injuries, the bond braking was bringing his symptoms with a vengeance. He sat down on the bed and closed his eyes willing his mind to work.

“What's wrong?” She whispered as she came to kneel on the bed behind him, hands on his shoulders.

He sighed. "I cannot button the shirt." He tried to get his mind to think around it but it did not work. He tried once more but the holes danced in front of his eyes. He managed one but it was as if his hands were clumsy. He then realized how much he needed to put himself into a healing trance.

“Let me,” she whispered, in an instant shifting so she was sitting on his lap facing him rather than at his back, saying nothing as she focused on helping him. Her concern was evident in her furrowed brow.

He placed his hands, which were shaking slightly on hers. "This is not in any way your fault." She he told her about L'tak Torai an how it had been a condition passed from father to son from generations. He told her of his concern that Soval had it and his hatred of himself and his worry that it would pass to any sons he and Alexandra had. He told her of the symptoms from those that mirror dyslexia to the spatial and order dysphasia. He told her what he'd gone through as a child and how he'd had to fight with his mind to be able to function as he did today. His recruitment of the teacher from the learning academy, newly retired, and how all the stress of his surgeries, and everything was now bringing the symptoms out.

She had listened to every word in silence, long after she had finished buttoning his shirt. “Soral, any sons we have will be perfect, with or without this condition because it doesn’t define you. The person you are. The person I love.”

He let his forehead rest on hers struck again by the gift she truly as. A total acceptance he had never known in his life and never truly understood until now. Was this what the Earth people called unconditional love? If so it was a dangerous drug because it developed an instant need for in the person it was given to. He sighed and threaded his hands around his wife. For the first time in his life he was speechless. Not words, no sounds. A perfect moment plucked out of time filled with realization and chained with emotions beyond all comprehension.

With a soft kiss she adjusted the collar on his shirt, wishing he could stay. But she also knew he would not be leaving the house without her unless he had to. “I like this shirt,” she whispered as she reluctantly sat back on the bed. “I may have to borrow it some day. Are you sure you don’t need me to come with you?”

He turned. "No. I shall be alright. I promise this to you. You must rest. Allow your mother to spoil you today. I believe both of you could use it."

“I promise to be good,” she vowed, realising her mother being the responsible one would mean an insane amount of chocolate and movies. “Just promise to call us if you do need us for anything? I’ll miss you.”

"Indeed." He leaned over kissing her forehead "I shall see you soon."

{OFF:}