Midnight Conversations -- Part II
Posted on Thursday, 13 May 2021 - 11:13am by Lieutenant Haru Hernandez & Lieutenant JG Maximus Mackenzie
Operation: Neu Reich
Location: USS Standing Bear | Crew Quarters
Timeline: 2394 -- MD 08 close to midnight
Mac pulled back the covers of the bed. He slipped his legs over the edge and sat there a moment. His mind was racing a mile a minute. It was one of those things where you wanted to sleep, you were tired, but couldn’t fall asleep.
It had been one of those weeks where most of the nights had been spent awake tossing and turning.
Mac felt a familiar hand on his arm. “Can’t sleep?”
He sighed and turned bringing his left leg up to the bed to curl it as he sat so he could see Haru. “No.”
“Want to talk about it?” Haru asked as he pulled himself up to lean against the headboard while wiping the sleep out of his eyes.
Haru smiled, “But you will.” He held out his hand.
Mac sighed and crawled back into bed taking a position next to Haru. “Maybe.”
Haru laughed. “That didn’t sound so convincing. What’s up?”
Mac sighed. “I’m just thinking of everything.”
In perfect Vulcan style he raised an eyebrow. “You, my dear Maximus, tend to not just think, you overthink.”
Mac smiled, “True.” There was a long pause and then he said, “I’m worried.”
“About,” Haru asked.
Haru had sensed that. “Time for one of those long overdue talks I guess.”
Mac said nothing.
“Okay what worries you?” Haru wasn’t sure he wanted to know but at the same time he wanted to know.
“I’m worried that we’ll fall apart. Our … love, or relationship, or whatever you would have called it back then was always from afar. It was like absence makes the heart grow fonder I guess and now we’ve started a life and it feels like we’re fighting more, were not saying things more, we’re growing apart.”
Haru sighed. “Yeah, I noticed.” There was a pause and Haru was heartened to see that it wasn’t awkward. That meant something. Their silences were never awkward and if it did get awkward then he’d be worried.
“A lot of this is my fault, Max. After what happened on the other ship…I felt weak, I felt left behind, I felt angry and useless. I never want to be a burden to you.”
Mac closed his eyes. “Why would you think that? Have I done something?”
“No!” He was quick to interrupt. “Of course not.”
“Then what?” Mac turned to face Haru. “You used to love it when I took care of you. I enjoy being there for you both when you’re strong and when you’re not.”
Haru still faced forward. “I…don’t know how to respond. Part of me understands and part of me wants to be the stronger one every once in a while.”
“You are strong Kai-chan,” he said purposefully using the name that always melted Haru’s heart.
“I don’t see it. Hell, if it wasn’t for Stillwater’s offer, I would have gone off the rails.”
Mac was grateful to Stillwater beyond words. “I know.” There was another pregnant pause. “Kai-chan can I ask a question?”
Haru smiled, “This must be one of those serious ones that you are afraid of the answer. You never ask permission to ask a question.”
“Can we make it? Can we get back to us?”
Haru would not have been able to answer that question before but when Mac had been held captive on that Andorian war ship the sheer panic Haru felt the things that clicked into place. “Yes!” there was no hesitation. “I think that we need to focus on us for a bit and maybe even speak to Vali.”
Mac shifted away and stood up from the bed. He paced. “That woman! I don’t want to hear her name.”
Haru looked at him. “I know you’re angry but…”
“No but! She could have killed you!”
“Yes, but she didn’t. Think about the power of her grief, her loss.”
“I don’t care! As a telepath she has to think of what her abilities can do to others!”
“Yes, they can hurt, but also they can heal.” Haru pulled back the covers and gently, with much shaking bent his knee.
Mac just stared.
“You see…I couldn’t do this…but after what happened…I started feeling things in my leg, I started moving them… It’s hard and painful,” He said dropping the leg straight. “But I can move it a little better, not all the time but a little.”
Haru watched as Mac’s eyes filled with unshed tears. “I…”
“I take great satisfaction in knowing that I can still leave you speechless.”
Mac came back to their bed and sat down. It was a moment before he reached his hand and took Haru’s. He opened his mouth and then closed it.
Haru smiled and opened his arms. “Perhaps nothing needs to be said now. Do you remember when we were at the Academy?”
Mac silently nodded.
“I used to love those nights where we would not talk, we’d embrace a great silence and hold onto one another just to feel and to touch our minds.”
Mac smiled a little. He moved so that he was next to Haru. They both lay down facing one another and joined their hands.
Mac felt the first tentative touch of Haru’s mind and he wanted to jump for joy because what they’d felt all those years go, what he’d felt himself and the feelings that he’d felt from Haru were there, strong as ever.
He looked deeply into Haru’s eyes and they just stayed like that, feeling one another’s thoughts, holding hands, just embracing the silence and allowing their hearts to connect in a way that they hadn’t for a long time. It was like a reset and Mac let the silent tears drop.
He felt Haru’s hand cup his cheek, the warmth of Haru’s love around his heart. I love you
You are my other half, you are a part of me and I give myself to you forever, Mac answered in his mind the second half of the vows they took not long ago when they joined their hearts, hands, minds, and souls.
“Yes,” Haru said out loud. “I am forever yours and nothing will change that.”
A peaceful sleep clamed them. They slept, minds still joined, hearts joined, and hands joined. They were one.