When Sleep Won't Come
Posted on Saturday, 22 May 2021 - 9:51am by Ensign Oriana Skye Sety & Lieutenant JG Hayashi Hamura
Mission:
Operation: Neu Reich
Location: USS Standing Bear | Crew Quarters
Timeline: 2394 - MD 10 0200 hours
ON:
It as about 0200 hours and Oriana couldn’t sleep. She had tossed and turned ever since the counselor left. Starfleet Counseling had always been exhausting and Goddess knows she’d seen her share of counselors each one, no doubt, thinking her as broken as she thought herself.
Deciding that she wasn’t getting sleep she got up. She didn’t bother to put on her robe, Hayashi would be asleep. The quarters were warm anyway. She’d noted that Hayashi seemed to like Vulcan conditions when it came to heat so she’d taken to sleeping in her shorts and a tank top. She didn’t mind the heat, she was always cold anyway, it was how she was wired.
Barefooted she padded into the living room area and headed for the replicator. “Chocolate Milk, Cold.”
She waited and watched as the glass and it’s smokey brown colored liquid shimmered into existence. She was always fascinated with replicators. It was funny how beautiful the creation of matter was. She watched the sparkles dance and shape and form and it felt oddly comforting to know that she too was a collection of sparkles.
She picked up the glass and settled into the sofa that she’d filled with throws and pillows. “Computer, candle light brightness.”
She watched as the room filled with a warm glow. She smiled a little and took a sip of the chocolate milk. It was her one crutch that made her feel a thousand times better.
Lost in thought she didn’t hear the doors hiss opened. It was when a voice called her name that she snapped back to reality.
Oriana looked up to find Hayashi watching her with a look of concern. She looked away quickly. Hayashi was in PJs, long pants and a t-shirt that was loose but still the strikingness of beauty that Hayashi had never failed to deliver a punch. Oriana had always been a hopeless romantic who had an eye for aesthetic beauty but he also harbored a secret that she hadn’t told anyone yet. “Hi,” she simply said.
“Are you alright?”
She looked up to Hayashi who was not standing by the sofa arm. “Yes. Sorry did I wake you with the lights?”
Hayashi have her a head shake. “No, I was reading some reports from the old engineer.”
“Oh,” Oriana said. “Well okay then.”
Hayashi smiled, “Chocolate milk?”
Oriana chuckled, “Yeah, always makes me feel better.”
She watched as Hayashi walked to the replicator and mirrored her order. “Well let’s give it a try then.”
She smiled again as Hayashi sipped the milk.
“So,” Hayashi began. “The counselor shook you?”
“I’ve never been the ideal model of a counseling patient. Starfleet counseling tended to get too personal and I felt like they wanted to rip every secret from me. There are things I feel okay sharing and other things…”
“I can understand that. I’m the same way.”
Oriana smiled. “Really? Are you telling the truth or just practicing side counseling?”
Hayashi laughed. “No, I’m telling the truth. We all have our secrets, our secret pains or worries and I think that we’re entitled to them.”
Oriana smiled. “I guess so.” She sipped more of her milk. “You know you are the only person I trust on this ship.” As she finished saying it, she knew that it was true without a doubt.
Hayashi looked her way. “Why?”
She could tell that it was a question that mystified Hayashi. “I don’t know. I wish I could explain it but…I just feel like we’ve met in another life or that we were meant to meet.”
Hayashi stayed silent. It was a long silence and she thought she’d offended the one friend she fully gave herself to. “I’m sorry that was a stupid thing to say.”
She watched Hayashi do that headshake thing again.
“No, it’s not stupid. I felt it too.”
She sat up a little. “Really?”
“Yes,” Hayashi began. “I just…was afraid to say it. It’s a weird feeling because I never felt it with anyone and it’s…frightening”
Oriana smiled, “Yes, it is. I don’t trust easy and I don’t usually feel this way.”
Hayashi sighed, “Yeah but there is so much you don’t know about me, things I’m afraid to tell you because saying them in the past has caused me to lose friends or incur judgement. It’s a painful memory I guess.”
Oriana gave a nod. “I understand that. I really do. I mean I’ve felt odd and different my whole life as if I was made just a little broken so that I don’t belong here.”
Hayashi looked at her. “I don’t think so. I think you’re perfect just the way you are.”
She gave a bitter smile. “Well get to know my secrets first and then say that.”
Hayashi studied her. “I could say the same thing. I see the way you look at me with admiration and you’ve honestly put me on some pedestal that I can’t live up to.”
Oriana blushed. “That’s not true,” But it was. “I just like you.”
“Yes, well the question is in what way and will you still when you learn my secrets.”
Oriana looked at Hayashi. “I think my heart knows your secrets. Stupid thing to say right?”
Hayashi and Oriana locked eyes. “We’re going to have to have a talk aren’t’ we? One of those deep talks.”
Hayashi smiled, “Yes, perhaps and I want to. For the first time I want to get to really know someone and build a friendship.”
“Maybe more?”
Hayashi shrugged. “If you still look at me the way you do when you know my soul.”
She smiled, “I can say the same thing, you know?”
Hayashi smiled. “Yeah, well I say that this has been stressful on us both, new ship, new home, new crew, perhaps we just have a quiet night of companionship and we can start talking another day.”
“A genuine wish or fear-based decision?”
“Both.”
She smiled. “Alright. I agree.”
They spent the rest of the night just sitting together and enjoying the silence and just the company of one another. Neither slept and neither felt tired that entire night.
OFF:
