Playing Catch-up with My thoughts

Posted on Thursday, 4 June 2020 - 12:55pm by Lieutenant Raith Kolani

Raith sat down at his desk in his quarters and decided to get some of his thoughts recorded.

“Computer, begin personal log, Lieutenant Junior Grade Raith Kolani, USS Font... USS Standing Bear”

"It feels like events have moved at maximum warp since the day I stepped aboard in my capacity as Chief Operations Officer. From making sure that the final checklists and jobs were completed before launching to getting used to a new Commanding officer in Commander Victrix, its all been like a bit of a blur, but that's ok.

I'm a Starfleet Officer and proud of the fact that I am getting to serve on one of the newer classes of vessels in the fleet and how wonderful it is to see her operating at maximum efficiency. I may not be an Engineer, but I am proud that I have been a part of getting the ship underway and keeping the Bear maintained.

There are times that I have felt like my feet haven't touched the ground and this applies to the day that I met T'Lanna and onwards. The moment I set my eyes on her as I went to fix the Wall Panel in her office and link it to the ship's computer, I never knew that you could fall for someone so fast. She's amazing in every way and I couldn't ask for more.

However, we were linked from the beginning by the vision I experienced inside the Dark Nebula and I still don't know why. What I do know is that it was a bloody scary vision involving the Borg and her mother as a Borg Queen... I mean, the Borg? Why them? How does that fit into everything?

What the hell is that about? I still don't have answers as to why I have my fathers pocket watch, which seems to have travelled thousands of lightyears from my sister's post on the USS Charon and also why I already knew that the ship would change its name from Fontana to Standing Bear.

I have questions that need answers, however, I'm not sure when I will get those answers. With a new Commanding Officer on board in the shape of Captain Stillwater, I'm looking forward to finding out where we go from here. Having a change in commanding Officer often means a change in the way the ships runs, but I'm up for that.

What scares me the most is that T'Lanna has spoken about bonding with her in the Vulcan way. Knowing that I have sworn to become a father to her baby once born and that I love her with all my heart, I reacted badly when she spoke of bonding. all I want is to make her happy, she is my world and I don't want anything breaking that into pieces. I can't let that happen again.

I've already lost one family after the massacre on Mars. I know I have my sister but I don't want to lose another family so I'm taking the bull by the horns and committing to T'Lanna. It feels like the right thing to do and my gut isn't often wrong. I have a chance to make sure that I don't follow the same tragic path as my family did...Being a Starfleet Brat often has its downsides.

Which reminds me, I need to put some time into the investigation about my parents and what happened on Utopia Planitia. I need to get answers...could it be that I've been distracted of late?

What I do need to do though is make a decision about my post as Chief Operations Officer.

Whilst I was taken on to get the ship up to specs and ready for launch originally, as a Senior Officer on the crew, I'm not sure that I'm cut out for this just yet, not sure that I'm ready for the responsibility that it demands and brings with this position. I think I need to speak with Commander Soral first to sound him out about what my options are...stepping down maybe one of them.

Damn. I'm rambling again. Sis always told me how much I rambled. I need to catch up with her soon and talk to her about the pocket watch...

"Computer, end personal log entry."

 

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