Musings

Posted on Saturday, 29 August 2020 - 2:23pm by Lieutenant Alex Kingsley

“Computer, begin recording personal log. Add date and time stamp... Okay. Here goes.

I’ve not recorded one of these for so long. It seemed right, now that I am a full lieutenant. I still can’t quite believe it! All in all it has been quite a day. Well, night then day, but you know what I mean.

I definitely did not expect my shift on the Bridge to be as eventful as it was. Our objectives were pretty straight forward, keep the ship safe and get into position to begin our analysis. And it was going great! Until it wasn't. Our probe was destroyed and yes, I'm still a little angry about it. Anyway, that then led to our contact with the Vomnin. Which was interesting. I think their captain would have happily blown us into little tiny pieces too. But he didn't. Due, I think, mainly to his wife.

Dr Zera is interesting. Brilliant even. I think we could learn a lot from her work and she seems far more willing than her husband to share resources and information. But she also has a mystery on her hands - and now we do too. Their missing people. She looks so sad whenever our talk would turn to their disappearance and I am absolutely convinced her worry about something being amiss in this region of space is genuine. I just don't know what it is. Yet.

Hopefully our new sensors will come in useful. Already the data we are getting is far beyond what our previous hardware could provide so I'm confident if there is anything out here to find, we will. In the meantime, we will have to just deal with having one less probe until I can talk nice to engineering and have them build a new one. It is just a thing at the end of the day but I had given Thor such a good pep talk while I calibrated his onboard systems that I think maybe I jinxed him. No talks for the rest of them, just to be sure.

What else... my mum messaged to say her plans to move to Vulcan are moving at warp speed. She even has dinner with a Vulcan Ambassador who knows Soral. She seemed oddly nervous about it. I still can't believe she was willing to just drop literally everything and move to another planet. I guess I underestimated just how badly she wanted grandchildren. I know Soral thinks it will be good for his children too - for sure there will be no parental influence on Vulcan quite like my mum!

I still can't quite wrap my head around the whole thing. Soral is a father. I'm not angry with him or anything. He didn't know and he wasn't deliberately hiding them from anyone. It's just a big change. Having people dependent upon you... it is a huge responsibility. And not one I imagined facing at twenty three. Soral always wanted to have children. The question now is - does he want more?

I haven't met Soval but I imagine he will be just as amazing as Severine. She is an incredibly young lady. I still can't believe how brave she was to come and seek out Soral like she did. I don't think I could have. I don't think I could even do it now.

But maybe I will have to.

With everything that happened, with what Sara did... I have so many questions. And I worry that there are things I should know, if only to protect Soral. I've caused him enough pain.

Soral. I... I don't know what to do. I hurt him, the loss of the bond, hurt him a lot. And I know he is hiding things from me. Trying to protect me, I imagine. I wish he wouldn't. Because I worry that maybe it isn't that he is trying to protect me and then my thoughts spiral. Besides Dr Rose, nobody on the ship knows besides Max. I'm glad Soral has him around. I feel like Soral might confide things to him that he would never say to me. And I have my many messages back and forth with my mother. And Bones. He's a great listener.

Soral suggested planning a dinner or a party for the crew for our wedding, to celebrate. I've tried to focus on it but beyond the words, holodeck, bar and music I have nothing. And with work so busy I haven't really given it much attention. It isn't that I don't love Soral, not at all. I just would rather curl up in a dark room and drown in silence than be the centre of attention in a room full of people... although I think I'm getting better at hiding it outside of our bathroom walls. It will get better, I'm sure of it.

In the meantime, I have a mystery to lose myself in.

And some engineers to sweet talk.

Computer, end log."