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Attack of the Toilet seat

Posted on Wednesday, 24 May 2023 - 3:35pm by Lieutenant JG Hayashi Hamura & Lieutenant Alex Kingsley

Mission: Operation: Lobes & Liberties
Location: Mess Hall | USS Standing Bear - A
Timeline: 2396


The mess hall was surprisingly quiet by the time Alex Kingsley dragged herself out of her lab and from beneath paperwork to eat something. Which was a good thing. Grabbing some spicy chicken pasta and some water she picked a quiet corner to give her at least a view to appreciate while she made some random notes on her observations of Theo.

Hamura needed some food. They headed to the mess and grabbed a burger and fries. Looking around they spotted Alex. They shrugged. Might as well get two birds with one stone. They walked over to Alex and put their try down on her table. Reaching for the data padd under their arm they presented it. "My report on the brawl."

“Thanks,” Alex replied after she swallowed a mouthful of pasta, taking the PaDD. “Any major injuries to you or the others from your team?”

"Team was patched up on sight as you saw, I'm alright for the most part." They indicated the seat. "Can I sit?"

“Sure,” Alex nodded, watching the Ops chief take the seat opposite.

Hamura sighed and sat down. "No offense but your husband is an idiot sometimes."

“Oh?” Alex replied around a mouthful of pasta. Fortunately, the rest of the room was empty so no need to remind Hamura that above all else, Soral was still the XO. “About something specific?”

"That new Damned Vulcan. She's...trouble."

“He will figure that out for himself eventually,” Alex pointed out. “Anything I say on the subject is put down to jealousy.”

Hamura snorted. "Like hell. He's just being..." Hamura sighed. "Never mind. He's being stubborn." Hamura grinned. "I did promise you a story didn't I?"

Alex frowned, wondering what she was talking about. “A story…. Oh! Soral again. Yes, you did.”

"I believe if I had to title it I would call it tales of the toilet seat...or the day a Vulcan got taken down by one."

“By a toilet seat?” Alex repeated incredulously. “How is that even possible?”

Hamura smiled. "Oh. It was a sight." Hamura laughed. "I actually took a sneak photo." They pulled out a PaDD and using their personal code they brought up a picture of a disheveled Soral sitting by a toilet seat that looked cracked . Soral, in turn looked like he'd been mauled by an alligator. Hamura handed the PaDD to Alex. "He doesn't know I have this. He closed his eyes and I took a holo image."

“I think it best to keep this one to yourself,” Alex grinned as she looked upon Soral. Her Soral. Before all this mess. His normal calm and immaculate appearance missing in action. She touched the screen, his face and sighed before banishing her thoughts and giving in to curiosity as she handed back the PaDD. “Why on Earth was he trying to fix a toilet seat?”

Hamura grinned. "So...we were on a training mission with some cadets...a bet we both lost with a CO and midway through we were being chased by a Klingon raider. Your ... husband knowing we didn't have phasers decided that tossing things out of the airlock could slow the raider down due to the high speed well....he ordered all the toilet seats loaded in the airlock and out they went. The raider was actually destroyed by the toilet seats causing several hull breaches."

Hamura chuckled.

“That one definitely isn’t in the manual,” Alex grinned.

"Well, after the fact to replicate toilet seats since we were still 3 weeks from the nearest Federation outpost. So, we did. I was ranting about the replicators being used for that and how it would take forever to get the seats back in place. I was being lazy. Anyway, your Husband said he could mount the seats in five minutes in zero gravity."

Hamura rubbed their hands together.

“Please say you have a holo vid?” Alex asked hopefully.

"Nope but I have a photographic memory. I told your husband that he could not that there is more engineering to it and that it was not that easy....You realize when you tell Soral he can't do something..."

“He’d die trying to prove you wrong,” Alex finished for them.

"Indeed. So, he set about attaching the seats in Zero Gravity." Hamura laughed. "The first seat got him! He attached it but didn't secure it properly as was required and bam! It flew off hitting him in the face. He was kind of knocked out for a good 15 minutes. When he came to I had secured it. He got mad, I mean in his Vulcan way and then.....He went to the storage center determined to get the rest done....Can You guess what happened?"

“I’m going to guess at a skull fracture caused by stubbornness,” Alex offered as she ate.

Hamura grinned, "Not quite yet. He was really hung up on the zero G thing and our stock is not secured so when he went O G they all flew at him. It was....well that I got on video." Hamura called up a locked file and handed her the date PaDD. "I keep this when I need to laugh."

It was perhaps not a wise thing to indulge her curiosity on this, yet even so Alex was soon watching what could only be described as chaotic scenes where Soral was very much not in control. Given the circumstances, she couldn't blame him. "Definitely never let him see this," she encouraged as she returned the device. "Or if you do, make sure his access to airlocks is restricted."

Hamura laughed. "Yeah." They paused. "Alex...can I talk to you about Soral?"

“What about him?”

"Have you noticed he's...different?"

“I’m a science officer,” she pointed out, “it’s my job to notice.”

Hamura sighed. "Are you....not worried." Hamura rubbed the back of their head. "I mean he's not our Soral...but then again I'm not this worlds Hamura fully." They scrubbed their hands down their face. "I'm not making sense am I?"

“I worry. A lot,” Alex assured her. “But so far, he’s done nothing to suggest he’d harm anyone or intends to. He needs time.”

"You know my loyalty is to him but...something is off."

Alex considered her for a moment, “then, to be blunt, I suggest you do some serious thinking because your loyalty first and foremost should be to the captain, the ship and the crew. All of the crew. If you have something beyond a feeling then I’d happily take it to the captain.”

Hamura sighed. "What about my loyalty to Soral." Hamura paused. "There is someone who knows Soral better then any of us...but um....she kind of hates me."

“If the next words out of your mouth include the name Evesta,” Alex warned, “put in a call to sickbay now because I am in no mood.”

"Actually no....someone who...knows him better. Pren T'varis."

“I don’t know who that is,” Alex admitted.

"His older sister." Hamura sighed. "A Vulcan Goddess walking .... and Scary as hell."

“Sounds delightful.”

"Will her?"


Hamura studied her. "She kind of hates me. She calls me Soral's lap dog."

“And you think that she will hate me a little less?” Alex challenged. “That is insane. We’ve never met and he had never even spoken of her.”

"In all fairness not, many people have. I mean their father pretty much....abandoned her mother and she grew up not very fond of Vulcans but she will probably like you. You are a self-made woman, a scientist. She also knows Soral and if anyone can convince her to reach out and see what's up with him it's you."

“I think you overestimate my abilities and that you should perhaps apologise to her… then she may listen to you,” Alex suggested.

Hamura sighed. "Will you at least call me with her?"

“Hamura I don’t exactly have time for hand holding,” Alex told her wearily. She was exhausted on every level and more family drama may, she realised, be the proverbial straw to break the camel’s back. “What exactly did you do that has made her dislike you?”

"See that's the thing! I have no idea!"

“Did you try the coin trick?” Alex guessed.

"No. Trust me she's to scary to hit on." Hamura smiled, "Even for my charming self."

Hamura laughed. “Actually, you and she have a few things in common.” They signed. “Okay well at least think about it. This woman is scary informed and she can help. She’s not a fan of Soral by any means but I have a feeling she’d like you so maybe she’d help.”

“I’ll consider it,” Alex conceded, “but no promises.”



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