Do you have a moment Doc?

Posted on Sunday, 28 May 2023 - 5:35am by Lieutenant T'Lanna Vali & Lieutenant JG Hayashi Hamura

Mission: Operation: Lobes & Liberties
Location: Counseling Office | USS Standing Bear -A
Timeline: 2396

ON:

After the conversation they had with Alex, Hamura took themselves down to see Vali. She was more then a counselor but they needed a counselor now. This was the first time that they were ready to cry uncle. They couldn't solve this themselves and honestly they felt... a million emotions.

T’Lanna was in her office, grateful to be back on her normal duties instead of playing First Officer. She was pouring over a backlog of appointments she’d had to change.

Hamura rang the chime and waited. This was going to be a long one.

“Come in” T’Lanna smiled as the door opened. “Hello Hamura, what can I do for you?”

Hamura's mouth opened and then closed, then open again. The took a steading breath. "I think I need your help. I think I'm going crazy."

“Okay...” T’Lanna motioned Hamura to a seat. “Sit down, relax and tell me why you think that.” She smiled warmly.

"I don't know...I mean it could have to do with the whole alter thing but I just feel like I’m not me anymore."

“Well more or less you aren’t entirely you anymore” T’Lanna offered an understanding smile. “You’re a combination of two Hamura’s."

"Yeah and is it normal that neither one of us trusts Soral anymore?"

T’Lanna frowned. “Neither of you? I thought Mirror Hamura worked for Soral on the other side? Why don’t you trust him now?”

"I don't know." Hamura put their head in their hands. "See. Crazy as a loon."

T’Lanna shook her head. “Not at all, you’ve got two personalities integrating as one. As you both now have your doubts there must be a reason for it, can you think of anything that gives you reason to doubt Soral? Anything recent?”

Hamura sighed and leaned back. "Well, nothing concrete but...he's not himself. It's like he's ignoring all the things that were important to him I can't explain it. Like he's here but his mind is elsewhere." Hamura signed again. "It doesn't make sense maybe I'm just reading too much into things."

“No, you’re not” T’Lanna shook her head. “Last time I spoke to him he was...different, but then I expected him to be different. He’s two Soral’s now, not just one.” She sighed. “I don’t know Hamura, this is difficult to say the least.”

Hamura smiled. "You have no idea. There are times when I think am I myself or am I the mirror verse Hamura. It's becoming harder to figure it out but...we are a lot alike in so many ways."

“Right so there’s your starting point, common ground. Start with what you both have in common, work on that and the rest will come in time.” T’Lanna smiled warmly. I have no idea if there was a ‘mirror’ me, she definitely wasn’t anywhere to be seen when I was there.”

"Hamura looked up. They...I and Soral knew the mirror you."

T’Lanna looked at Hamura in surprise. “You did!? Do I want to know what she’s like?”

"Soral knows more but she was a lot like you. Maybe why I thought to come here. They....I" Hamura sighed. "This will take some getting used to but I think I needed to come here. I feel like I've hit a kind of rock bottom and I don't think I can rely on Soral to help here...you're the only one that I could reach out to."

T’Lanna nodded. “I’m honoured that you feel you can trust me Hamura. I’ll do whatever I can to help, you’re both a part of this universe now and I’m only too happy to help both of you.” She smiled warmly. “I suggest we start by having you concentrate on those similarities, things you both like to do.”

"That's the thing as of late there have been more and more things I don't like to do that we don't like to do that have been making an appearance." Hamura signed and closed their eyes. "Like for example...Ensign Sety, I could have sworn I was in love with her....but..."

“But now you feel differently?” She looked at Hamura curiously. “The whole other universe part is confusing, the only reference I have is by comparing to the lifetimes that a joined Trill would have. A combination of personalities, but you are both different now Hamura, it could just be that you’re becoming a newer version of yourselves.”

"That's it and I'm worried that it could hurt her. I just don't have the feelings I did before. Then the question is can I rebuild."

“That’s what I’m here for, to help you rebuild. Have you tried talking to Oriana about how you feel?”

"No. I've sort of been avoiding her...no seriously I jumped into the poop tube...I smelled for a week just to avoid her."

“That’s going way over the top Hamura, Oriana deserves the truth one way or the other.” T’Lanna offered a brief smile. “If you like the three of us can meet and you can talk to Oriana about how you feel. I’d be there to support you both.”

Hamura sighed. "That would be...great."

T’Lanna nodded. “It’s unfair on Oriana leaving her out in the cold so-to-speak, it’s only fair that she knows how you feel.”

Hamura sighed. "It is wrong that I feel guilty? I mean we were building something special and then it's just like ... my feelings for her shut off."

T’Lanna offered a brief smile. “It’s not wrong to feel guilty Hamura, it just maybe that there’s a part of you that does still care for Oriana, that doesn’t want to hurt her.”

"There are days I envy Vulcans, you know?"

T’Lanna nodded. “There is something to be said for having mental control over your emotions.”

Hamura sighed and rubbed their eyes. "So, you don't think I'm crazy?"

T’Lanna shook her head. “Of course, I don’t Hamura! Confusion is to be expected, not that I’m an expert in this. I think a good night’s sleep would do you the world of good as well.”

"I miss Engineering things made sense there." They sighed. "I guess I can try sleep."

“Give it a try” T’Lanna smiled. “Would you like me to see if I can organize getting you back into engineering? I can’t promise anything will change but I can try.”

"Tried it. The captain is pretty set on me staying there." Hamura shrugged. "Oof. After all this talking I'm pretty tired. I think I need to go rest and just try to think about it all."

“Good idea” T’Lanna nodded. “If you need me you know where to find me okay?”

Hamura sighed. "Thanks counselor."

OFF: