Meditation

Posted on Sunday, 3 May 2020 - 6:53pm by Commander Soral & Lieutenant Alex Kingsley

Mission: Operation: Recall
Location: USS Fontana | XO's Quarters
Timeline: 2393

{ON:}

Meditation. The act of giving your attention to only one thing, either as a religious activity or as a way of becoming calm and relaxed.

Worded like that it sounded so simple. Yet it was elusive. And frustrating. Which, she reasoned was the entirely opposite purpose of trying to meditate in the first place. She had read the information Soral had sent her twice over but she came to two very quick conclusions. Firstly, you could not really learn this and be good at it from studying books. And secondly, that her thoughts were constantly returning to their first officer and their night together. Okay, okay... and the holodeck too.

Her day had been something of a blur. Once alone she had bathed and changed into her uniform, then ate some of the breakfast laid out before tidying up. It was the least she could do. And then she headed to the lab and worked on the report on the nebula. Fortunately, it was something she could focus on and it helped immensely. For once she was grateful to be almost overwhelmed with sensor readings and analysis. And so her uneventful shift ended.

When she had reached Soral’s quarters he was not yet back so she entered his code and slipped inside. Replicating some ingredients, she set to work making something for them to eat while the nearby display replayed the latest lecture series from Cambridge. Professor Langdon, a guest speaker, was just being introduced when she heard the door opening.

The day had, in human terms, been both productive and foul. Productive in that he'd finished his entire to do list, met with half of the department heads, dealt with several reports and reduced his paperwork pile from dangerously leaning to manageable and he'd been able to meditate and have lunch properly. Alex had brought back the centered Soral he'd not seen since leaving the station. He felt, for the first time in a while, in control. The foul part had come in when he'd had to deal with a discipline issue.

He was tired but content. The moment the doors parted he could sense her there. Bones, however, had been first on scene. He'd run up, as he usually did, wagging his tail and barking. Soral scooped him up holding the puppy to his chest and petting him as he walked to Alex. He put the puppy down and took Alex's hand kissing the inside of her wrist. "I am pleased you are here."

"I figured you deserved a chance to taste some of my cooking, so you could consider changing the access code to your door," she teased. "How was your day? Up until you found a mad scientist at work in your kitchen that is."

He raised an eyebrow feeling amused at her comment about the food. He removed his jacket leaving only the black turtleneck that he took to wearing because the rest of the ship was cold to him. His own quarters were warmer then required. "My day was long, productive, and when it reached low points was lifted by thoughts of you." He motioned to the table. "How can I assist? How was your day?"

“You can sit and relax. I am nearly ready to set the table. My day, you will I’m sure be shocked to know, was full of sensor data,” she confessed, “but surprisingly productive. Although I missed you too.”

A warmth spread through him at her words. Sit and relax? He sat and watched as she moved around the kitchen. "How is the sensor data assimilation coming?"

"Great," she beamed. "The third probe data identified two wormholes which remained stable for longer than three minutes and the micro probes made it to the other side. We got partial data back before they collapsed so I left the computer running comparisons on the data to try and identify the exit points. If we get a match the computer will let me know. An astrophysicist would love to be out here studying the nebula."

As she spoke, she worked, adding spring onions to the stir fry and letting it cook while she retrieved some plates. "I mean it isn't my area of expertise and I find it fascinating."

"Indeed. It is a great find. We will be heading into the nebula soon. That will no doubt be an experience." He paused, "May I ask you something?"

“Of course you can,” she assured him.

"Your file lists your name as Alex. Is it short for Alexandra?"

“Ahh,” she grinned. “Alexandra is a name which does not leave this room. I’ve always just been called Alex but technically yes, my birth certificate says Alexandra. And I prefer Alex.”

"Both are nice. Alexandra has an ancient Vulcan meaning as well."

“Really? What does it mean?”

"It means wielder of magic." He stood. "If you will excuse me I will change. The uniform is not always comfortable."

By the time he returned she had set out dinner, and was knelt on the floor appeasing Bones with a belly rub. He was quite adorable.

He'd changed into casual pants and a sleeveless shirt that showed his tattoo. He looked at her a moment feeling as if he could never get enough of seeing her. "Have you had a chance to review the meditation techniques?"

Rising she moved to wash her hands before dinner, “I did... although every time I thought I was getting close, I’d get distracted. What would you like to drink with dinner?”

"Perhaps some cranberry Juice." It was a favourite of his. "What was the distraction?"

“You were 99.9 percent responsible,” she admitted before ordering drinks, glad for a chance to let the colour fade a little from her cheeks. Setting the drinks down on the table she grinned, “dinner is served.”

"Would it be wrong of me to say that I find it oddly satisfying to be responsible?" He looked at her. "Perhaps we can try a meditation after dinner?"

“I’d like that,” she grinned as they sat down.

one hour later

Kneeling on the floor, allowing the curious Beagle to climb all over, Alex allowed Soral space to prepare. She hoped he had lots of patient. Then again, he had eaten dinner without complaint... scratching bones behind the ear she let the puppy wander off to curl up on his bed.

Soral had set a candle between them. He would try the meditation not only to see if it would work but so see the rate of her thoughts. He could adjust it as they went.

"Sit comfortably with your legs crossed in a lotus position, thusly." He demonstrated. "I want you to just start by taking deep breaths. Try to focus on breathing and stilling your mind. If a thought or image pops in, say it."

Shifting position so she was sitting, arched an eyebrow at him, “anything?” Taking a deep breath she focused on the candle, the flickering light of the flame, the gentle heat. She frowned, trying not to look beyond the flame. She failed and grinned before shaking her head and starting again.

Soral had opened his eyes just as she looked at him and grinned. "Indeed." He said as if reading her mind. "Deep breaths and let us try again." He was beginning to like her mischievousness.

“Sorry,” she mouthed. Focusing again on the flame this time she closed her eyes before the temptation to look beyond the flame overcame her. Deep breaths. In and out. With every breath it seemed the flame burned brighter. Like a furnace. In a forge...

“Sorry!” She blurted out as her eyes flew open.

"No apology needed. Let us try another method. Look at the flame. Focus on how it burns and moves and keep taking deep breaths."

“Can you fail a meditation class?” She mused before doing as he asked. It was hard, because the temptation was always to look at him. Yet she did it, somehow. Relaxing more with each breath.

"Good." He could see her relaxing. He briefly found himself wishing she lost her concentration again.

His voice cut through, and she looked up and grinned, “I’m not very good at this!”

"There is another way that is sure to work." He said. "It is one that is not practiced often on Vulcan...It can be quite intimate and is usually practiced by spouses or lovers....." He let that last word hang in the air. Mind melds were intimate enough but this form of mind melding was more so.

“Lovers huh?” She grinned. “It kind of feels like cheating on a test... is it dangerous?”

"No. It is a mind meld at the least but one where both enter meditation. Their heartbeats, thought patterns, breaths become one. There would be no secrets." Suddenly saying that felt vulnerable especially with how he felt about her, how he was starting to feel about her.

She paused, considering, before she nodded. “I am willing if you are.”

"There would be no hidden secrets between us." Part of it scared him. He'd never told anyone the truth how he'd felt being abandoned by his family, about the shunning he'd felt as a child and the loneliness.

She moved around the table so was sitting at his side facing him, holding his hand. “Soral, we don’t have to do this,” she assured him. “I have no objections to learning about each other the old fashioned way and with a few decades of practice maybe I will master meditation. Maybe my head is too full of you to be able to be still. Only half human after all.”

He sighed and then looked at her. "The problem is I want to know you more, I wish you to know me. I ... am beginning to develop strong feelings for you. It is not logical but it is the truth and I do not wish to fight it." He touched a lock of her hair. "I fight to keep from calling you Ashayam I wish to call you that."

“What does that mean?” She asked quietly, bright eyes curious.

"It means Beloved. Mistress of my heart."

“Oh...” she smiled as she caressed the side of his face, thinking. “Love is the most illogical of emotions. I don’t want either of us to have regrets. And you said it yourself, this cannot last. If this would hurt you when we can’t be together in the future, I don’t want that. But I do want to know you. All of you.”

"Not allowing myself to fall in love with you would hurt more." He covered her hand with his. "Shall we try?"

She leaned in and kissed him, “you are such a romantic ... and yes, please.”

He allowed himself a smile. He led her to the sofa and the sat down. He placed the index and middle finger of his right hand against her left temple. His thumb on her jaw. "My mind to your mind, my thoughts to your thoughts." He paused searching for that connection. "Our minds are merging." Finding her essence he shared his own with her. "Our minds are one."

There was a moment of darkness for both. "Our breaths are merging, our hearts beat as one." He could feel their life forces working as on. Suddenly darkness gave way to light. Both stood as shadows watching a boy, Soral, avoid the harsh words of others, the taunts the names he was called. Angry Villagers calling him the cursed child. Then a boy hiding listening to his father and step mother make a plan to leave the village.

Finally years later a much older child returning from school. An empty house, no brothers, no sister, no parents. A note by a packed bag.

My Son,
I hope this note finds you well. Your step mother and I along with your siblings have returned to our village. You are not welcome as you were born under a bad omen. We cannot care for you any further. Your mother was a mistake and I will not have my wife paying by seeing you any more. I renounce you. Make your own path it does not lay with us.

Pain raw and sadness and anger. Tears.....

“Soral,” his name escaped her lips in a whisper, echoing his pain at the unfolding scenes. Her heart felt like it was breaking for him, tears in her eyes.

A soothing loving energy washed over her. Then an image of her and him, their time together and he showed her how truly healing she was to him, how is feelings had taken him off guard, how much he cared.

She took a deep breath, basking in the warmth. She savoured it, yet it felt all the more significant because of the hurt and the pain. She clung to it, wanting to show him family.

The scene shifted, the sound of laughter filling the air as she ran as fast as her legs would carry her. The sky as red as her hair. Hands grabbed her and suddenly the world was upside down so she could wiggle her toes at the sky in hello. Her mother, her bright smile looking funny upside down as she reached out and tiny hands cupped the woman’s face.

The world righted, the scene shifting again and again as she let him experience first hand her childhood. The good and sometimes awful Halloween costumes, her father showing her how to use his tools as she helped him with a project, her graduation and the smiles and tears of her mother who was cheering like an insane person from the back of the room. Her father’s cousin Sara at her side. Remembering how her mother never liked her but for today they were family and she loved her mother all the more for it.

Soral felt amerced in her joy and all that came with her life. His respect and care for her grew. Suddenly they were surrounded by the Martian landscape holding one another's and it seemed they were alone for the moment. He took her hand. Pulled her to him. Held her as they watched the sun setting. "You miss them very much." he said.

“Always,” she agreed as she wrapped her arms around him.

She felt so content. So at peace. Thank you...

The scene faded and only two heartbeats remained then merged into one and slowly the meditation ended. They were once again back on the ship facing one another. "Ashayam" he said, calling her Beloved and not caring that slowly he was falling in love.

She kissed him, ignoring the puppy dog eyes peering up at the pair curiously. Ashayam... the word was alien to her but felt right. She had it bad, yet she didn’t care.

He kissed her back just enjoying being there. They settled in on the sofa and held one another. "Allow your mind to just rest. I am here with you. You are safe. Forget your thoughts just feel the moment." He wanted to stay like this forever but he knew in a few short hours they would be traversing the wormhole. For now he'd be there, in the moment, with her.

She curled up in his arms, more than happy to be with him. Happy to have these moments before they ventured back into the nebula. And all going well, many more nights like this.

Yep, she had it bad.

{OFF:}

Lt. Cmdr. Soral
Executive Officer

&

Lt. Alex Kingsley
Chief Science Officer

 

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