Even a Counsellor needs a Counsellor sometimes

Posted on Monday, 29 June 2020 - 10:18am by Lieutenant T'Lanna Vali & Lieutenant Ryan Rose MD

Mission: Operation: Iktomi
Location: T’Lanna’s office
Timeline: After T’Lanna’s return

{ON}

Her kidnapping ordeal over T’Lanna had put on a brave face, hiding her emotions away under a wall of Vulcan emotionless calm. She was on her way to Sickbay for a check up as was the norm after any ordeal but on the way she made for her office, no sooner had she stepped inside her emotional barriers dropped and she burst into tears. She wasn’t sure if she needed to cry or scream or what so instead she squeezed herself under her desk looking for an oasis of calm to hide in, just as Ryan tended to at times.

Ryan had heard the Away Team was back, and went to check on T'Lanna. Her door was open, but he didn't see her at her desk. He was about to go check elsewhere when he caught what he thought sounded like crying. Prone to the hiding spot himself, the first place he checked was under her desk. He pulled the chair back a bit and sat down, giving T'Lanna her space, but still remaining present. "Hey there." He waited for her reaction before deciding what to do next.

T’Lanna gave Ryan an almost guilty look as she wiped her eyes and nose on some tissue. “Hey ...” She took a deep breath. “Sorry I ... couldn’t hold it back anymore!” She wiped away a few more tears. I didn’t want ... anyone seeing me like this.”

Ryan disappeared for just a moment, only his boots visible, but then he was back in his crouch, offering T'Lanna a box of tissues and a glass of water. "It's ok. It's just me." He smiled. "Let's face it, you've seen me in worse shape." He moved from his crouch to sitting crossed legged. "Do you want to talk?" He offered.

T’Lanna picked up the glass with a shaky hand and sipped her water, before cradling the glass in her hands. She didn’t say anything for a moment before nodding. “I guess I should.”

Ryan nodded. "It might help."

She put down the glass and took a moment. “It was scary Ryan, I know I volunteered myself as bait to lure these pirates in, hell even Raith thought I was crazy! I was so ... sure of myself, it only sank in how stupid I’d been after I was snatched away.” She took a calming breath. “All I could think of was the fact that I was putting my son at risk!”

Ryan nodded. "You're ok now. You're safe." He carefully offered out a hand, just leaving it there if she wanted it. "Do you need some time off? I'm happy to cover for you."

T’Lanna shook her head. “No I ... if I take time off I’ll just sit and dwell on my own stupidity and make myself worse.” She gently reached out a hand and took Ryan’s. “How’s about we sit on the furniture instead of the floor?”

"If you're sure. I don't mind though." He gently squeezed her hand and smiled at her. "It was lonely being the only member of the under my desk club' he teased.

T’Lanna offered a more relaxed smile. “I can see the appeal.” She slowly emerged from under the desk. “Why am I suddenly so desperate to prove that I’m as tough and capable at doing my job as everyone else?.”

Ryan backed out of the way. "Did something or somebody make you feel that you aren't?" Ryan asked. "Or just the pregnancy talking?" He tried to help her gather her thoughts with the questions.

“I ...” T’Lanna shrugged her shoulders. “I guess it’s probably more the pregnancy talking, it’s not liked I planned being a mother although I wouldn’t change anything.” She let go of Ryan’s hand and walked over to the sofa taking a seat. “I guess there’s the element of being an ex-b as well. I’ve aleays had to prove myself in that respect.”

"Understandable." Ryan pulled a chair over so he could sit across from her. "T'Lanna, you know you don't have to prove yourself to anybody here, right? You are a very highly valued member of this crew."

T’Lanna offered a smile. “Thank you Ryan. I know those here don’t judge me and I have faith in our new CO as well, it’s just ...” She paused. “What if Starfleet decided that we ex-b’s are a risk they’re not willing to put with?”

"Well then I doubt Starfleet would be an institution worth working for. But I don't think that's going to happen. The panic over synths has died down, at least a bit. Plus, the CO has a rather concrete reason to not let anything happen to any X Borg in his crew." Ryan smiled.

“That’s true” T’Lanna nodded. “I’m sorry I’m just ... feeling fragile I guess!” She sighed. “The ship’s Counsellor needs a Counsellor, how funny is that!”

"Not funny at all. You're just as, and excuse the term..human as the rest of us." He smiled.

T’Lanna nodded. “That’s very true. I’m more Betazoid than Vulcan in mannerism and Betazoids are more like Humans minus the empathic and telepathic abilities. I guess that does make me as human as anyone else.” She gave him a bemused look. “I just totally over analysed that didn’t I?”

"Completely." Ryan just grinned though. "Are you going to be ok?"

T’Lanna took a more relaxed deep breath. “I think so, I just needed to get my feelings out to air. It scared me more than I thought and I won’t make the mistake of putting myself at risk again.”

"Well that's good to hear. If you need anything, let me know. Anytime."

“I will, thank you Ryan.” She smiled warmly. “The same goes for you too.”

{OFF}

 

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