Misunderstandings

Posted on Saturday, 14 November 2020 - 7:51pm by Lieutenant T'Lanna Vali & Lieutenant Talarn Zilth

Mission: Operation: Ouroboros
Location: Counsellor’s office
Timeline: MD0

ON:

T’Lanna sat in her office waiting for the arrival of Talarn. She’d invited him to speak with him in regards of what he did to save her life. For an ex-Borg, being asked to practically assimilate someone was a horrible request and she owed him big time.

Talarn tapped the chime next to the doors and waited. Yes, he had been invited, and yes this was an office, but he still felt it rude to just let himself into the room. The chime was there for a reason after all.

Walking over to the door, T’Lanna offered a smile as she greeted him. “Talarn, thank you for coming.” She stood aside. “Please come in. I apologise for asking you to come here. I didn’t want to keep dropping in on you at home.” She moved across to her seat and motioned him to any of the other seats. “Please sit. I just... wanted to say thank you for saving my life.”

Talarn picked a seat, after examining them and sat, stiffly. He snorted. "What else was there to be done? At least you had already been a Borg, so it wasn't like I was introducing nanites into someone who had never had them. I'm just glad I was available." He smiled a little, his eyes starting to roam around the room. "I... I also don't mind you dropping in on me."

T’Lanna smiled. “Thank you. I hope I haven’t made you uncomfortable asking you to come here?” She looked around her office. “I like my creature comforts, soft furnishings and cushions plus pictures of relaxing scenes on the walls. My favourite has to be this one...” She motioned to a large picture of rolling hillsides and glens with a large loch. It’s Scotland on Earth, it’s just so beautiful and peaceful. To be honest, I need that right now, All these implants make me feel like I did when I was first liberated from the collective like some metal clad robot! I hate it.”

Talarn eyed the large image for several moments. It actually made him nervous. He knew he was supposed to feel relaxed at the wide open space, but that wasn't the reaction his body was having, however, he didn't let it show. "I... I don't remember much of Cardassia and it has changed significantly since I was an actual Cardassian. I returned, for awhile, when I was severed from the Collective. I stayed with an uncle. He is actually my only living family member left. My parents were killed in the same Borg attack that I was assimilated. I've heard a lot of ex-Borg say that returning home helped them recover, but I have no experience of "home" per sae. When I think of home, I think of Prairie and Barret. It was the first place where I really experienced that sense of peacefulness you're talking about." He shrugged a little. "I mean... I guess several of the ships I was on for Starfleet felt comfortable, but not like I experienced on Prairie."

T’Lanna studied Talarn curiously, he hadn’t let his feelings show, but she’d felt them loud and clear. “That image makes you uncomfortable doesn’t it?” She offered an understanding smile. “I understand. I wasn’t Borg as long as you, but I still felt totally lost when I was liberated. I just wanted to stay inside away from prying eyes and the thoughts of what people might think of me. I’m lucky they managed to make me look more or less how I should look. It’s not that simple for you and other ex-b’s. Perhaps you’ll get to return to Prairie with Barrett one day. It’s still your home.”

Talarn shrugged again. "It was never really about what I looked like to me or other people, at least for me. Or really what they even thought of me. I struggled most with the loss of identity. When I stayed with my Uncle, I felt no connection. To him or to Cardassia. We made new connections... but I still feel very disconnected from my own people. I was Cardassian. I was Borg. Now, I am something that is neither of those things. I'm not saying that I don't feel I'm capable of relating to my own people, but I will never be the person I was before, or even what I was before. Why fight it? There is nothing I can do to change it. I simply am what I am. I feel I have no regrets." He rubbed the back of his head with one hand and chuckled. "I hope that someday Barret and I can return to our life on Prairie... but I feel that may be a long time from now."

T’Lanna nodded. “I understand. You’re amazing to have coped so well given everything you’ve been through. Plus having Barrett has been a blessing for you. I’m happy that you have a supportive partner, it goes a long way to have that kind of support.”

"I believe you have a supportive partner as well and a family. I think what might set me apart is that I don't feel that becoming and unbecoming Borg as any sort of tragedy. It made me who I am now and I rather like who I am now." He smirked a little. "I'm fairly certain that the Cardassian I was would have never joined Starfleet... or met Barret... or any of this life I live now." He was quiet for a moment. "I think in some ways that what made me the most angry about Starfleet kicking me out. They only saw a Borg... a machine, the nanites, the tubules, the regeneration chamber. Which I'm clearly not."

"I've been told that I'm one of very few ex-Borg in Starfleet, or rather, we, are some of the few ex-Borg. I think I got away with it because I don't look Borg and because my of my father. The last thing Starfleet would want is a diplomatic incident with the Vulcans. I like having you here Talarn, it's nice to have someone who understands what it was like to be Borg."

Talarn nodded. "It is... good to work with someone who understands." He wasn't so convinced that T'Lanna understood. She had not lost her position in Starfleet because of what she was. He had served with distinction for years, but it was also pointless to rehash. Not only was he Ex-Borg though, he was also Cardassian, which brought along with it its own set of issues when it came to Starfleet. He smiled, despite his misgivings. "It'll all work out in the end."

“You’re doubting my understanding aren’t you?” T’Lanna looked at Talarn curiously. “I understand better than you think. You lost everything, your career, your status in Starfleet, the whole person that you were before. Believe me I do understand.”

Talarn frowned. This was the third time that T’Lanna had seemed to read his personal thoughts and he didn’t like it. He wasn’t aware that Vulcans had the capacity to read minds and if she did it was a blatant invasion of his privacy. “I said no such thing...”

“You don’t have to, I’m a Psychologist as well as a Counsellor. I do my job and I do it damn well.” She gave him a look. “You thought I read your mind didn’t you?” She shook her head. “I wouldn’t do that Talarn, not without your direct permission. If I did I’d lose what respect I have.”

Talarn continued to frown. “I also didn’t say that...” His tone was expressionless. He stood. “I think it’s time for me to go. I would like to know what about what I said or did gave you those impressions, before I go...”

“Talarn... I’m not just a Vulcan, I’m half Betazoid. I feel others emotions as much as I feel my own. Sure, I can block out others emotions to a point, but there’s always that background hint of what they’re feeling. I just go with what I feel and if I’m wrong then I’ll apologise. I swear to you I have not violated your privacy... I wouldn’t.” She sighed. “I’m sorry if I’ve caused any offence.”

"I wasn't here for a counseling session, Counselor. Regardless of what you feel or don't feel, gives you no right to assume that I wish to discuss any of it. Right or wrong opinions are not the issue." His issue was that she had almost repeated what he was thinking in his head word for word and that was too much prying. "Confronting me about how I feel when I gave you no indication outwardly that I wished it to be a topic of conversation is an invasion of my privacy, however you wish to word it or justify it doesn't change anything. Even if you weren't empathic. If I wished to discuss with you what I was thinking I would have done so. Anything else is mine and mine only regardless of what you feel I feel... Do you understand what I'm saying?" His tone was calm and collected. He didn't sound angry.

T’Lanna nodded embarrassed that she’d managed to offend a man she very much wanted to get to know. “I’m sorry Talarn. It wasn’t my intention to offend you, I just...” She shrugged her shoulders. “I’m trying too hard to pretend I know what you went through all those years. I very much want to be your friend. That’s if you’ll have me as a friend?”

"I never said I wouldn't, but cheating to get there is a rather firm line for me." He took a deep breath and put his hands on the back of the chair he had been sitting in. "I would just like to become friends in the old fashioned way... by talking. Don't be so eager... some things are worth waiting for. As a counselor, I would hope that you would know this. Not all clients require the same treatment."

T’Lanna nodded. “Talking it is, no psycho analysis, I promise.” She offered a smile.

Talarn shook his head. "I really do have to go. Barret is off shift in about twenty minutes and I would like to have something ready for him to eat. We can talk more about this later. I am not angry at you. I would like to talk more."

“As would I, very much so.” T’Lanna smiled warmly. “Thank you for being so understanding, Talarn. I’m looking forward to our next talk.”

"Mmm..." Talarn said cautiously. Then he nodded and headed for the door. "Have a good afternoon, Counselor."

T’Lanna nodded. “And you Talarn.” As the door closed behind him she sighed, she had let herself try too hard and in doing so had almost ruined a friendship. Their next meeting needed to be on more level ground. She had an inhibitor and next time they met she would use it as a gesture of good will.

{OFF}

 

Comments (1)