Time For Talk
Operation: Peace or P'Jem
Location: Observation Lounge | USS Standing Bear
With everything that had happened lately, her outburst, the Andorians, and now Ryan wanting to be cautious about letting her have her inhibitor off, T’Lanna decided to head to speak to Soral. He’d been her mentor in all things Vulcan, and a friend since she’d come onboard ship. She trusted his opinion no matter how brutally honest it may be.
Soral had taken up his usual spot in the observation lounge. He worked on some reports. He was still recovering from the Andorians.
Arriving outside the Observation Lounge T’Lanna paused and took a deep breath, then headed inside. “Excuse me Commander, I hope I’m not interrupting you?”
He shook his head. "No, please enter and have a seat."
"Thank you" T'Lanna offered a brief smile and walked over to a seat. Sitting down she made herself comfortable. "How are you?"
"I am recovering slowly." He said. "And you?"
“I think the same applies” T’Lanna offered a smile. “Both Ryan and I are in agreement that I’m not ready to have my inhibitor removed yet. I am not .. stable.” She sighed.
"It will take time. Your actions on the Andorian ship prove that you are capable of greater control then you give yourself credit for."
T’Lanna nodded. “Perhaps, but you were there keeping me calm Soral, I don’t think I’d have coped alone. There were times I felt like I wanted to scream.”
"You must learn to give yourself more credit." He closed his eyes as a shot of pain want through him. "You will learn to control your abilities."
T’Lanna nodded, frowning as she noticed Soral close his eyes. “What’s wrong? Is there anything I can do?”
"No, it is a side effect from the sifter. I will recover."
T'Lanna nodded, "I can't imagine what that must have been like. How painful it must have been." She sighed. "I wish I could have been more help, but they threatened to kill you if I removed my inhibitor again."
"I will be alright. You must not carry the world on your shoulders T'Lanna."
“If I don’t then who will?” T’Lanna offered a brief smile. “My anger should have been directed towards the Andorians, but when I was aboard their ship I couldn’t take that anger out on them! Instead, I exploded here, hurting those I’ve come to think of as family. I have a lot of people’s trust to re-earn.”
"Indeed. Every action has a consequence and getting people to trust you again is a consequence but you will succeed. I will work with you on control so that you will be able to better master your abilities. "
“I would very much appreciate that Soral” T’Lanna smiled more warmly, more like her old self. “Is Alex alright now? I didn’t cause her any lasting injury did I?”
"No. Your actions had an interesting effect on her."
“They did?!” She looked at Soral in surprise.
"Indeed. It stimulated some healing on her part."
“Seriously?!” T’Lanna looked at Soral eyes wide in surprise. “So, something positive actually came out of this?”
"Indeed. We are that much closer to being able to bond again."
T’Lanna smiled the biggest smile yet. “That’s amazing! I never thought what happened would have a positive outcome.”
"It is not the only one."
“It’s not?” T’Lanna looked at Soral curiously.
"Yes. That reminds me Haru asked me to speak with you. He was able to discover that after your...effect on him he was able to do certain things. He couldn't walk but he could stand. He will be working on the rest and when he can walk he'll walk up to Mac and make him, what did he say...eat crow and apologize to you."
T’Lanna grinned, and shook her head. “Haru can stand! That’s ... incredible!! Soral I ... thank you so much!!”
"As you can see there are always two sides of the coin." In a rare display of emotion, he reached across and gave her hand a pat. "One must always maintain perspective."
T’Lanna smiled. “I will try and do just that from now on, that I promise you. So, will Alex be ready for ...” She didn’t say the word knowing how private Pon’farr was.
"Perhaps, it is still too early."
T’Lanna nodded. “Of course, if there’s ever anything I can do to help either of you please don’t hesitate to ask.”
He gave a nod. "Indeed. There is something that I wish to speak with you about."
T’Lanna looked at Soral curiously. “I’m listening.”
"I have been worried about N'vek."
“Has he not settled in?” T’Lanna looked at Soral concernedly. “It is going to take time.”
He sighed. "The opposite. He has settled in. I believe that he already sees me as a father. He's called me father twice."
“Already?” T’Lanna looked at Soral in surprise. “Now that does surprise me.”
"He's become very attached to both Alexandra and I and I fail to understand it."
“He could be overcompensating for the loss of his parents, accepting the two of you because he needs the love and care that you’re both showing him” T’Lanna paused. “All I can say right now is to carry on as normal, don’t push away his affections. In time things might change, we’ll work on it as things progress.”
"I'm afraid that this is not what Alex signed up for."
“Alex wants to be a mother” T’Lanna smiled. “I doubt she planned such a large family, but she loves you Soral. She’s also a natural with children, but if you’re worried then talk to her.”
"I have attempted to." He shrugged. "Perhaps I am making too much of all this."
“If you’re worried then it’s best to be certain” She offered a smile. “Do you still plan on having a child of your own with Alex? Perhaps that is what she would want?”
"That still remains to be seen if it is medically possible." He sat back.
“There are ways with medical help.” T’Lanna offered a warm smile. “Perhaps you could try something like that.”
He shrugged. "Something to think about at a later time." He studied T'Lanna. "I apologize I have lead you on a digression."
‘Oh no, it’s fine” She smiled warmly. “It’s good to feel like I’m needed, and trusted. I just want to get back to normal.”
"It will take time but trust can be re-earned. There are those of us who understand the pain you suffered. At this time your greatest enemy is yourself. You must not blame yourself so much."
T’Lanna took a deep breath she knew Soral was right, but she still felt to blame. “Perhaps not but I am to blame! It wasn’t anyone else whose mind exploded, and deluged the crew. Who almost took over the ship?” She held back her emotions but her hands gave away how she felt, they were tightly balled into fists, her short nails digging into her flesh.
"Grief is a very strong emotion. I have not met a Vulcan who is immune to it."
“I’m not your average Vulcan” T’Lanna’s hands relaxed again. “I could have chosen the Kolinar but I refused, at the time my father was .. displeased.” She paused. “It’s thanks to you that I became close with him again. I just wish I’d done it sooner. I don’t even know if he married the woman he wanted me to meet, she was chosen for him, they were to be bonded.” She hung her head. “Before he ... he told me our home was mine now, that’s all he said.”
"I can assist you to find out if you wish."
T’Lanna gave Soral a smile, and a nod. “I would appreciate that, thank you.”
He gave a nod. "I should go. I promised Chief Eyelaya I would speak with her today."
“Of course,” T’Lanna offered a smile. “Thank you for everything Soral.”
He gave a nod. "Until later then."