More Than Numbers

Posted on Monday, 3 May 2021 - 5:35pm by Captain Barret Stillwater & Lieutenant T'Lanna Vali

Mission: Operation: Neu Reich
Location: USS Standing Bear | Deck 06 | Cargo Bay 3
Timeline: MD 3

Barret Stillwater had asked Lieutenant T'Lanna Vali to meet him in Cargo bay 3. She was not there when he arrived, but he knew that she would be there. Whenever the Captain asked for one of his crew to be somewhere, they were there. With T'Lanna, however, she had come to know Barret on a very personal level. When Barret asked her to meet her, he was almost certain that she had a suspicion that this was more than a simple request. The Captain sighed to himself and took out a PaDD to start inventorying some of the cargo.

T’Lanna was running late, she was still adjusting to family life as well as being without her senses. Arriving at the cargo bay she rushed inside offering an apologetic look. “I’m sorry I’m late Captain! Family life is certainly an adjustment.”

"It's fine, lieutenant," Stillwater replied and smiled. "You are fine. I'm usually early, and family life tends to do that. It's an adjustment."

T’Lanna nodded, “One of many lately. Anyway you called me for a reason, what can I do for you Sir?”

Captain Stillwater hopped up onto a cargo container using it as a bench. "Make yourself at home," he said gesturing to a cargo container across from him. "I figured it would be quieter down here" he explained. The Captain crossed his arms and took a deep breath.

T’Lanna offered a smile and hopped up onto a cargo container. “I may not have my senses but I can see something is bothering you.”

"Lieutenant Yolen. Chief Petty Officer Eyelaya, just two names that have left an impact here. Two individuals who gave their lives in the line of duty," noted Captain Stillwater. "I've lost people before, T'Lanna, but these have been different."

T’Lanna nodded. “It’s never easy losing anyone, but it’s especially difficult when they’re lost under your command. You’ve become more than just a Captain to us you’ve become a friend and a mentor.”

Stillwater winced a bit at hearing those words. "I have, haven't I?" he replied and met the woman's gaze. "That was never my intention. I do not know if that was ever clear from once I came aboard with Talarn or not, but I only ever intended on being this starship's Captain, your Commanding Officer, but over time something changed as I began to see each of you day in and day out."

" It happens, for me this crew and you have become family. That's why it hurts knowing what happened after my father's... " She paused. " Death, caused me to hurt people."

He scooted off the cargo container and proceeded towards a food and beverage replicator. "How much of my personnel file have you become familiar with, lieutenant? Have you delved into my family life growing up?" The Captain proceeded to order himself a beverage. "What can I get you?" he added, looking back at T'Lanna.

"Just a fruit juice please" She offered a smile. "To be honest I did some delving into your history, I was partly responsible for locating you in the first place. I don't recall about your family history, at least not right now."

How could I have forgotten you are responsible for me being here he thought to himself. Initially, he had resented the woman he was speaking with for some time. She had helped Starfleet, helped the Federation track him down, and rip him and his husband from their home on Prairie. "Pineapple mango juice, chilled," he said facing the replicator. For himself, he ordered his usual rooibos tea.

He handed the juice to Lieutenant Vali. "There was not much to remember when it comes to my family, lieutenant, I forgive you for not recalling immediately," he said with a small smile. "An orphan has no roots," he whispered as he leaned in to hand her the glass. "At least, they don't when they are never adopted and have to feel their way through their ancestral heritage in the dark."

“Thank you Sir, how could I have forgotten that?” T’Lanna sipped her drink, and cradled the glass. “So Talarn is the only family you have, except for us here aboard ship. I can’t imagine what that must have been like, it was hard enough without my mother but I guess now I’m in a similar situation.” She trailed off.

Barret nodded. "Yes," he said agreeing with the assessment. "Talarn has been my only family. Then, I came here aboard the Standing Bear. With the small space aboard this ship, I see everyone every day to one length or another. Even Crewman Eberhardt down in Waste Reclamation has bumped into me every so often. It is difficult to maintain a professional distance from this crew."

T’Lanna nodded. “I know. You’ve suddenly gained a much larger family, one you never expected to gain. Losing part of a family, even an extended one is going to be painful.” She gave Barret a considered look. “I’m sorry I helped to drag you into all of this I had my orders doesn’t mean I have to be proud of my actions. Though I am glad to have Talarn aboard, having another ex-b like me onboard is nice. I don’t feel so .. isolated in that respect.”

He took a sip of tea. "So...I have a large extended family all aboard one starship," he said with a bit of a sigh. "Under my command. Some of them will die over time, sometimes because of an order I give be it directly or indirectly. How do I detach myself from feeling responsible for their deaths?"

“Easy answer .. you don’t” T’Lanna paused. “You have to accept the fact that this crew are willing to serve, and where necessary put their lives on the line for you, and this ship. As Starfleet Officers we all know what our duties are, what we might face, and that maybe one day we won’t come home. I don’t plan on dying none of us do, but it happens. We accept and try to move on. Which is easier said than done sometimes.”

"Exactly," Captain Stillwater ricocheted back at T'Lanna. "But there's a flaw in that," he said sternly. "I have been a command-level officer for years. I have taken course after course, cut my teeth on my first command years ago. I have become hardened over time, but now? Now, I have this vulnerability now that I am back in this uniform. Starfleet Command courses taught me how to make difficult decisions, be a strong leader, and to see people as people, not as statistics, but never once have those classes ever discussed one's crew as family. Simply put, a Captain does not get that close to the individuals serving under them."

“Like certain Counsellor’s who can floor crew with a simple angry thought” She offered a smile. “What you’re thinking of as a weakness is also one hell of a strength. Family look after each other, if one person is in danger we’re all in danger, and we won’t give up no matter what! Don’t be afraid of what’s happening Captain, embrace it, enjoy what you have while it’s there to be had. There’s a little boy in my quarters who needs a grandfather figure like you.” She grinned, and sipped her drink once more.

Stillwater smiled warmly. He did like the thought of being that grandfather figure for her child. "Two of this family haven't been heard from in quite some time," he said shaking his head. "Petty Officer Baciami and Crewman Eberhardt. They went to Ekos to try to get Leopold's family freed from prison, but intelligence reports have indicated the two of them have since been inprisoned. On a world like Ekos, they may already be dead."

“Is there a way we can find out what’s happening with their imprisonment?” T’Lanna gave Barret a concerned look. “Surely Starfleet can help us, or are we on our own?”

"We will be rendezvousing with another Federation starship, apparently one better suited for diplomacy," he said with a scoff. "I don't have the 'tact' or 'grace' for diplomacy," he said shaking his head. "We will be going to the star system to try and ease tense relations between the Ekosians and their blood enemies the Zeon, the Federation wants mining rights to a disputed moon. We are hoping Bacimami and Eberhardt are still alive so that we could potentially force the Ekosians to use them as a bargaining chip."

T’Lanna nodded. “Fingers crossed they will but there’s no guarantees.”

He looked at T'Lanna. "With Petty Officer Baciami off the ship, Intelligence is null. The few analysts she has under her are fine, but Talarn has been a bit busy to really oversee their work. You've been wanting to make more use of your diplomatic attache title, lieutenant? I would value your research skills and help the Intelligence department dig up Ekosian history and any sense of old laws we may be able to use. Ekos is a strange little world, one we are responsible for tainting."

“Me?” T’Lanna looked surprised. “I guess I ... what I mean is ... Yes Sir. I’d like to help in any way I can. I just have to get used to my new duties.”

"It wouldn't be your first rodeo working with intelligence," he said referring to the woman's brief time temporarily heading the department before Baciami was part of the crew. "I have been given some particular thought in how to better utilize your interests, expertise, and your newly established diplomatic ties to Vulcan."

T’Lanna glanced at Barret curiously. “What have you come up with Sir?”

"I'm sending you back to the Academy, Lieutenant," he said crisply. "Metaphorically speaking at least," he added with a small chuckle. "I'm having you enrolled in remote learning command courses, ethics, Federation law, Peace & Conflict Resolution...the works. I want to bolster your strengths and craft you into a well-rounded officer for something particular. I want you as an FAO aboard the Standing Bear."

“A what?” T’Lanna looked at Barret curiously. “Isn’t that something to do with the military? At least I think that’s where I heard the term used before.”

Stillwater nodded. "Yes, and though Starfleet is not a 'military' organization," he said gesturing to his uniform. "We certainly have been influenced...uniforms, ranks, positions, starships, starbases," he winked. "You can take the word military out, but when it comes down to it, we are a bit more than 'peaceful explorers'" added Stillwater. "I have always made peace with it by finding similarities to Earth's old 'blue helmets' of the United Nations peacekeeping."

Barret cleared his throat. "FAO, foreign area officer. You would be an asset to Soral and me, advising us on all things legal, political, geographical, societal, the whole nine yards," Stillwater explained. "You would become an expert in our area of operations, all the star systems, the planets, the civilizations. It would mean a lot of hitting the books so to speak."

T’Lanna gave him a concerned look. “What about my duties as Psychologist, and Counsellor? Plus there’s Jayce, am I going to be able to fit these duties alongside my counselling appointments? Not to mention downtime with Jayce. I’m honoured you ask but I’m worried I’d let you down.”

Barret gestured his hand dismissively. "You'll be fine." He grunted. "You'll still be doing your counsellor duties in addition."

“If you’re certain Sir, I’d hate to let you down.”

"You will have assistance," he added. "In your FAO capacity."

T’Lanna nodded, paused and then gave Barret a confirming nod. “Very well, I accept.”

"Thank you," Stillwater said clearing his throat. "Right, back to work for me." Stillwater wasn't one to tackle emotions head on. He had more than enough of the heart to heart.