Oriana's Confession - Part IV
Posted on Wednesday, 2 June 2021 - 2:43pm by Ensign Oriana Skye Sety & Lieutenant JG Hayashi Hamura
Mission:
Operation: Neu Reich
Location: USS Standing Bear | Holodeck One
Timeline: 2394 MD 12
ON:
It wasn’t long before they were settled on the blanket and having a meal of light sandwiches just watching the gentle ripples of the lake. It was a companionable silence that both enjoyed.
Hayashi was almost afraid to break it but it had to be broken. “Kitten we need to talk. You need to tell me what this long story of yours is. Yesterday you listened to me and now it’s my turn.
She sighed. “I know. I just don’t know where to start.”
“At the very beginning. I want to know everything about you.”
She looked down at her hands. “Okay…”
Hayashi moved to sit beside Oriana taking her hand. “I’m here.”
She sighed. “Okay well let’s just talk about the part that affects or could affect a potential us.”
Hayashi smiled. “That’s a good place to start.”
“I knew that something was different about me for a long time. I have never had…a relationship, a proper one. I mean I dated a man in Uni but … when he wanted to take it to the next level, I broke up with him. I thought maybe it’s me, maybe I was more into women because I could appreciate the aesthetic appeal of both and I could see myself being romantically involved with both I just couldn’t see myself being intimate with anyone.”
Hayashi nodded. “Okay.”
“So, after I broke up with the guy that I dated for like a month a year went by and then I went on a few dates with a woman and same thing. She wanted to take it to a more intimate level and I broke up with her if you can call these break ups really, they were only a few dates.” She looked at Hamura. “I’m not making sense, am I?”
Hamura smiled. “You are. Let me ask you do you feel … um... se….”
Oriana covered Hamura’s lips with her hand looking around as if worried someone would overhear them. She blushed deeply, “Can we use another world.”
Hayashi laughed. “Not really, not in this instance but let’s try something else. Have you ever seen someone and were attracted to them and thought about being intimate with them?”
She lowered her head. It was a long time before she spoke. “No. I mean I’m romantically attracted to both men and women, I want the romance, the hugging, the kissing, the cuddling but…”
Hayashi felt a wet drop on their joined hands and knew immediately she was crying. Pulling her close Hayashi said, “Don’t cry Kitten. It’s alright.”
“I didn’t know what was wrong with me. I was fine with a kiss and handholding and being cuddled but I just didn’t want to be intimate with anyone. It wasn’t fear it was just … well not even dislike but I just felt like that kind of intimacy wasn’t for me, period.”
“It’s sounds like you’re asexual, maybe even biromantic asexual.”
She looked up at Hayashi who could sense her surprise. “You… know the word?”
Haya smiled. “Yes. Of course, I do.”
“I just learned about it recently like a couple years ago,” Oriana admitted. “Before that I thought I was alone.”
“Well, you are not alone. There are many who feel like you. It’s a valid orientation and something you should be proud of.”
She smiled a little sadly. “Yeah, but for someone that has yearned all her life to be loved, romanced, be in love, can someone really accept that without the intimacy?”
Hayashi smiled and pulled her close again. “I can. There are many who can. Is that what you were worried could affect us?”
She gave a nod.
“It won’t. It absolutely won’t. I say let’s give this, whatever is between us, a try. We both know now where we stand, we both accept what we’ve heard and I think we should take things slow and above all communicate, talk about our worries, fears, wants, likes, dislikes. We get to know one another more and we develop how we develop.”
Oriana gave a nod. “I have one more question.”
“Okay, shoot.”
“If we did work out, if we did fall in love could you live a life without intimacy if it came to it?”
Hayashi smiled, “Do I get to have you by my side? Do I get to hold your hand, make you laugh, give you an endless supply of roses?”
She laughed. “Yes.”
“Do I get to kiss you and can we cuddle like last night?”
“Absolutely.”
“Can I take you on ridiculously romantic dates?”
Oriana chuckled, “Of course!”
“Then I can live on that alone.”
Her eyes filled with tears, “Thank you, for accepting me as I am.”
Hayashi cupped her face. “I always will. Don’t ever feel like you need to worry or hide things from me. I’ll always be there for you Kitten. I promise you that.”
Oriana laid her head on Hayashi’s shoulder. “And I’ll be there for you.”
They sat in silence watching the ripples in the holo lake. Today had been more then she’d ever wished for. Could she have found what she’d been yearning for all her life? Time would tell.
OFF:
