Revalations: Part III
Posted on Tuesday, 23 March 2021 - 11:10am by Lieutenant JG Maximus Mackenzie & Lieutenant Alex Kingsley
Operation: Trail of Tears
Location: USS Standing Bear | Observation Deck
Timeline: 2394 (After the return of away team)
Mac and Alex settled in the observation lounge. He stared out at the stars and the full weight of his sadness and pain hit him making him look strained. Suddenly even standing became too much. He sat down hard in the chair. He knew that Alex had her own problems and worries, he did not want to burden her but she had offered and Soral was so weak and his mind was getting weaker by the moment and he could not burden him with this. He needed to speak with someone.
Setting down two hot chocolates, Alex studied Mac as she sat. He seemed tired but in that way which was more than just physical exhaustion. It went deeper. “What’s going on?” she prompted gently.
"I feel like I've lived a thousand years and every breath I take is a difficulty that I cannot bare. It's been a rough...time. Haru is healing, physically, slowly, but not in the way that he should. I just don't know if I'm strong enough to hold on."
“I’m sorry you are both going through this,” Alex said as she squeezed his hand. “I wish I had a magic wand to make Haru well again. I don’t but one thing I know for sure is that you are strong - both of you. And you will get through it. Maybe not today or next week... but little by little, it’ll happen.
I know it seems easy to say but difficult to hear, but patience is one thing you will need. Both of you. He almost died, got dropped off at a space station and had so much change. It must be overwhelming and he has to be hurting. And I imagine you must feel it all too. The same way I would if it was Soral. Not because of bonds but because we love them. What hurts them, hurts us. Mac, whatever I can do to help either of you, you know I would. In a heartbeat.”
He squeezed her hand "I know. Every time I try to help him....he pushes me away. We fight all the time and he just won't let me help him." He sighed. "You thought Soral was stubborn. He has nothing on Haru."
“It will be his blessing and curse,” Alex guessed. “Try to remember that he is hurting. Probably angry. Not at you, but you are close. An outlet. He loves you, Mac. Please never doubt it. And, hardest of all, he needs to want help. Which doesn’t mean you stop offering - just be prepared for knock backs more than acceptances. He is used to being strong and independent, accepting help? Asking for it? It isn’t in his nature.”
"No it's not. He takes care of people but I have always taken care of him and he always allowed it, enjoyed it but now...I just don't know. I don't know if I am strong enough to endure."
“You absolutely are,” Alex assured him. She paused, considering, before she reached inside her uniform collar and pulled out a slender golden chain with a small pendant on the end. The symbol for the Roman God, Mars. With care she unclipped it, took Macs hand and, turning it over, let the chain fall into his open palm. “Keep this for as long as you need it. A friend gave it to me, a long time ago. It reminds me that even when I was at my lowest low, when my heart was shattered into a thousand pieces, better times will come. That we are stronger than we think and can win whatever battles come our way.”
He looked at the symbol. For the first time ever his eyes misted over. "You are a lot stronger than I am."
“You are so wrong,” she said with a rueful smile, “you are plenty strong. What you need to remember is that we all have times we need to lean on someone. And that’s okay.”
He took her hand. "Soral is a lucky man to have your wisdom and guidance."
“But right now he needs a wife he can bond with,” Alex sighed. “And who can deal with motherhood. Have you ever thought about becoming a dad one day? I don’t actually know much about your family. You’ve obviously met my mother and know my fathers cousin is a bit of a psychopath...”
He sighed. "Yeah. I'm not sure about being a parent. On Capella I was the son of a Tier and the weakest one. "
He sighed. "I am sure that you will make a great parent and you and Soral will bond." He thought a moment. "What about a mind meld. You cannot have a bond but you may be able to mind meld."
“Soral will not try anything until Doctor Rose says so,” Alex sighed. “And I have tried to persuade him. But he is stubborn and overprotective and avoids answering questions just like you...”
Mac looked amused a little. "What question have I avoided?"
“The ones in my head,” she grinned, sticking out her tongue. Hey, it had made him smile. “What’s a Tier? Is it a kind of class system?”
"Tier is the leader of our tribe. Like a King of sorts." He sighed. "As for your mind meld with Soral...he may not be thinking of it. I think that you need to speak with him about it."
“Prince Maximus,” Alex mused. “Has a ring to it... as for Soral, he won’t unless I can get Doctor Rose to lie to him. I’d lie myself but he would see through it in a heartbeat. Stupid observant Vulcans.” With a pout she drank. “What about a vacation? Just you two? Somewhere peaceful? Even Soral’s house? I promise I’d make my mother stay away.”
He laughed. "That's not usually how it works. We need to talk things out and for that Haru has to communicate." He looked at her. "Just talk to Soral. You always worry about what he will think but have you ever thought about asserting your want? Soral I want a mind meld, I want that closeness for even a moment."
“Soral would give me the universe if he could... unless it would hurt me,” she pointed out in his defence. “He is determined he can prolong his Pon Farr but he can’t, not forever.”
"No, not forever," He didn't state that Soral was getting worse. "Just be patient with him." He looked at her. "You know he's gonna wanna take N'vek in right?"
“I expect so,” she nodded.
"How do you feel about that?"
“I honestly don’t know,” she admitted. “It’s getting a little overwhelming. And it isn’t like we are physically juggling parenting and careers. But at the same time, it’s a lot.”
She sighed, “I should be in my lab but I can hang out with my unofficial big brother if you want. I don’t like to think that you are sad. You’ve always been there - for me and Soral.”
"You should go to the lab. I should go see about Haru, I think we need to talk." He smiled. "I may need a sofa to crash on."
“Anytime,” she grinned as she stood, ruffling his hair. “And you know where I am if you need me.”
He smiled, "I know. And if you need me to knock some sense into your husband, let me know!"
“You still have permission to shoot him,” Alex reminded him with a grin as she disappeared out the door.