Time to start fresh

Posted on Friday, 16 July 2021 - 7:47am by Lieutenant T'Lanna Vali & Commander Soral

Mission: Operation: Lazarus
Location: Holodeck | USS Standing Bear
Timeline: 2394 MD 03

{ON}

T’Lanna had sat in the holographic representation of the Vulcan temple for a few minutes before finally deciding to call Soral, if she ever wanted to get herself sorted out then the place to start was with Soral. She reached her hand to her comm badge and tapped it. “T’Lanna to Commander Soral, can I see you in holodeck one please?”

Soral, who'd just been visiting Hamura, looked up as he exited Hamura's quarters. "I am on my way." He wondered what it was about. It didn't take too long, this being a small ship, but he arrived surprised to see the Vulcan temple. Everyone was free to use it of course but nobody had accessed it until now.

T’Lanna smiled as she saw Soral enter. “Soral, thank you for coming.”

"Indeed." He raised an eyebrow curious as to the summons.

“I need your help” T’Lanna’s smile faded a little as she took a seat on one of the cushions on the floor. “I am... struggling to cope with all the changes of late, finding my mother’s body, the early arrival of Jayce, my father’s death, and now Commander Stillwater leaving us!” She sighed. “Trying to cope with everything, plus postnatal depression as well... At the meeting I felt just how I did when I lost my father, if it hadn’t been for this inhibitor I dread to think what could have happened. I want to learn how to control my emotions.”

Soral gave a nod. "I see. I have been thinking about this. You are Vulcan but you are also Betazoid. I have been thinking that you could benefit from a different approach. Less meditation more philosophical."

“Philosophical?” T’Lanna looked at Soral curiously. “Sounds interesting. I do need to gain control before I get so used to being without my abilities that I have to learn to control them from scratch all over again.”

"Humans have a philosophical school that is much like our Vulcan ways. They call is stoicism. Have you heard of it?"

“Humans tend to call us Vulcans stoic, so I have heard of it. I never bothered to look up what it actually meant though.”

Soral walked over and sat down beside her. "It is rather a fascinating philosophy. It requires a few adaptations but I think that it will help you a lot."

“I’ve always trusted you and your advice Soral” T’Lanna offered a smile. “Let’s do it.”

He gave a nod. "Alright. I will need some time to prepare. In the mean time. If you wish to speak to me about what you are feeling we can perhaps speak about it."

T’Lanna nodded. “Ever since what happened after my father’s... death I’ve been trying to be the person I was before, but I just can’t seem to centre myself! With Jayce’s early birth and the time he spent in Sickbay I’ve found it hard to settle. Now Barret is leaving...” She shook her head.

"All this is a lead into the tenant of Stoicism. Change is inevitable but how we handle it is what sets us apart."

T’Lanna nodded. “You’re starting to sound more like a Counsellor Soral, that’s what I’d normally tell those who come to see me!”

He allowed himself a smile. "Indeed. I believe counseling is in the XO's job description to a point." He studied her. "But it is true. Change is something guaranteed the only thing we can control is our reaction to change. Alright. List for me again all the changes and all that you are going through again."

T’Lanna nodded, “First there was my mother’s death, then the early arrival of Jayce, my father’s death, and now Commander Stillwater leaving us!” She paused. “Trying to cope with everything, plus postnatal depression, it’s been a lot to deal with.”

"Shall we examine it all slowly. Let us start with your father's death. Tell me your thoughts on that and how it makes you...feel."

“My thoughts...” T’Lanna paused. “It hurts that my father was taken from me before he could even hold his grandson! That we never had the chance to make up for lost years! That I... couldn’t be there to save him!” She fought back tears. “How does it feel? It hurts! It makes me angry Soral, angry that he’s gone!”

"Indeed. But tell me of your relationship with him before he died."

“My relationship... was just getting started.” She paused. “I never saw eye to eye with my father when I came back from the Borg, he wanted me to follow the path of logic, I just wanted to do my own thing.” She fidgeted with her fingers as she talked. “We were finally getting along, he even said that he... was proud of me!” She wiped away a few stray tears.

"Let me ask you, those moments with your father where he expressed his pride, where you reconciled how important they were to you?"

T’Lanna paused then shook her head. “No, I don’t think I really realised just how much it really meant to me. At least not until my father was gone.”

"Now, let us look at it this way. If you two had been at odds and he had died how would you have felt?"

“Guilty... for not having taken the time to try and patch things up between us” She paused. “At least I had some precious time with him.”

"Having that time with him in the way that you have, you consider this important and as you said precious?"

T’Lanna nodded. “I consider it to be very precious. I wish he’d have gotten to at least hold Jayce, buy he did get to see him over subspace.”

"Thus, is that more preferable to a lifetime of not making up with your father?"

T’Lanna paused before nodding. “It is very much preferable Soral.” She offered a smile.

"Then logically even though it was short it was a moment, a point in time you would not trade and your life is richer for it."

T'Lanna nodded. "So much richer, and up until now I hadn't even thought of it that way."

"Indeed. Now, the captain. What do you feel with respect to him leaving," Soral asked.

"I wish he didn't have to go, I've come to respect him and think of him more as family than our Captain."

"Indeed, now, I ask if he left would that change how you feel about him?"

She shook her head. "No, not at all. I understand, and respect his decision."

Soral gave a nod. "I am guessing that knowing the captain has enriched your life in many ways and that you would rather have known him in person for a while then never have met him." He paused. "Am I correct?"

T’Lanna nodded. “You are correct. I’m lucky to have known Barret, I also know that he’s offered a let us all visit him on prairie in the future.”

"Indeed. So it is not goodbye, just a new phase. And he, by spending time with his husband, will be all the happier."

“I’m happy for them, they deserve a peaceful retirement.” T’Lanna offered a genuinely happy smile.

"Do you notice the pattern here? It is through logically speaking about situations that we can see them in another light." Soral said as he shifted in the spot where he sat.

T’Lanna nodded. “Turning the situation to the positive instead of the negative.”

"Indeed and focusing on the positives that are in your life. It will take some time to adapt but I believe you can do it. See every situation, every person, every relationship as a gift."

“As I do with Raith and Jayce, I consider them the most precious gifts in my life Soral.” She smiled warmly. “My family and my friends here aboard ship.”

"Then you must use that as what keeps you grounded." He paused. "You are part Betazoid so there is something I have heard that may help. It is something that a counsellor once told me she recommends to her Betazoid patients. Perhaps it would help you."

T’Lanna looked curiously at Soral. “What would that be?”

"A grounding tool. It is like a locket but it holds holo images of those that give you strength. Like a holo photo album. You would take time and allow the happy memory moments to play when you are at your most volatile and allow the memories to ground you."

“Soral that sounds wonderful.” T’Lanna smiled and nodded. “I think that would be of great help.”

"Good, I shall get Hamura to prepare one. They are good at those. They made one for me a long time ago as well."

“Thank you Soral” T’Lanna smiled warmly. “You’ve given me a way to start fresh, to see things in a way I never thought of for myself.”

He inclined his head. "Above all this you must remember to be gentle with yourself. You are adapting to much."

“That’s my Achilles heel” T’Lanna smiled. “I’m way too hard on myself! Speaking of which when can we try control of my abilities again?”

"Give it a few days. Let yourself calm a little."

T’Lanna nodded. “I will, I know that’s one thing I can’t rush.”

"Then I think we are done for today." Soral said. "Never be afraid to reach out when you are in need. With Stillwater gone I know that the crew will need to talk and I have told many, my door is always open."

T’Lanna nodded. “I’ll remember that, thank you Soral.”

{OFF}