Part II - lets talk about...

Posted on Monday, 26 July 2021 - 7:50am by Lieutenant Alex Kingsley & Commander Soral

Mission: Operation: Lazarus
Location: Crew Quarters | USS Standing Bear
Timeline: 2394 MD 06

ON:

With an excited bark, Bones scrambled across the room at warp speed, tail wagging and tongue sticking out as he found himself scooped up off the ground given a little scratch behind the ear in that perfect spot the canine could never quite get to himself. He revelled in the attention, for he had been largely forgotten as his Master had bustled around the kitchen and laid the table before falling into a quiet spell the pup knew not to disturb. Set back down, he retreated back to his bed in the corner, curling up against a battered looking teddy bear with one eye missing and on top of Soral's old uniform jacket. Quite comfortable now, the puppy pretended to fall fast asleep while his ears kept vigil. Listening to everything.

Setting aside the latest update on the Probes, Lieutenant Kingsley was surprised to find the table already set for dinner and the smell of the food made her stomach growl. She knew Soral would hate the fact that she had been working non stop and food had taken a backseat but it was the reality. Not only did they need the probes physically able to withstand the conditions where they were going, they needed programmed to ensure they completed the right work programmes and safely returned back to the ship once they had collected the data or if there was a malfunction.

"You have been busy," she complimented as she saw Soral emerge from the bedroom. "Dinner smells amazing. As usual."

"Indeed. I knew you would forget to eat so dinner needed to be a larger meal."

“I feel judged right now,” she pouted, “but I am hungry so thank you anyway.”

"It is not a judgement just a fact. When you are stressed or lost in work you tend to forget meals. If I did not keep refilling your work drawer with candy and chocolate you would forget to eat at all."

“Would not,” she countered petulantly although it was almost entirely true. “So… what do you want to talk about?”

He sighed, he loved her to the point, style. "Sit." He pulled out a chair for her and once they were both seated he said. "I have been recalled to Vulcan for a...conference by the V'shar." It was part of it. He slid a PaDD to her that said that much and said that there was a vote that would be held. He knew that that was about.

His pause and the use of the word 'conference' made her immediately suspicious. For one thing, it seemed a little crazy for an intelligence agency, one which was in the business of secrecy to protect Vulcan and its interests, to have a conference. Studying the PaDD she frowned, "must be an important vote for them to gather people together... but what about Risa? Does it mean you can't go? The kids need to see you."

"It is a vote on weather or not Vulcan should stay in the Federation. As logical as Vulcan is we are like Romulans defence wise." He sighed. "That does mean I will not get a chance to go to Risa. I will also be attending a healing monastery while on Vulcan."

She stared at him for a long moment, trying to process not just one large piece of news but two. Well, three. Vulcan had threatened to leave the Federation before and if they did go ahead, it would be a huge blow to the Federation. And throw up big questions for them, personally. And of course attending this 'conference' meant he could not visit Risa. Could not try to heal some of the tares in his relationship with the children who had undergone so much upheaval. And then his last piece of news. A healing monastery.

Such a visit was not undertaken lightly. And though he was attempting to remain slightly detached from their bond she registered the sense of guilt. He had kept things from her. Again.

Her question neatly covered all the things he had dropped on her from on high, delivered quietly but with an undercurrent of anger and concern. "Why?"

"The healing? Since the Andorian incident things have not been as they once were. I have been having issues. My pre-existing condition has come back, I cannot control my emotions as well, and I am having issues supressing my Romulan side."

"Issues?" she set aside the padd. "I am no expert, Soral, but perhaps the issue is that you are trying to supress part of who you are? You are part Romulan. No amount of meditation can change that. You have emotions. And half of you is not as ... inclined... as the other to control those emotions. Like me. I feel worried about you but also, yep, pretty sure that is a big dose of furious too. Since the Andorian incident?! Soral, how is that even when we are bonded you find ways to keep things hidden away?! You promised no more secrets and you've been keeping this to yourself all this time!"

"I have not. I was not sure I did not want to needlessly worry you. I am not sure that is why we are talking about this."

"Soral, if you were unsure you wouldn't be planning to go to a monastery," she pointed out.

"I had not planned on it. When I got the summons back to Vulcan to cast my vote, I thought it wise to take the opportunity but wished to discuss it with you. I did not wish you to be angry with me for failing the children."

"Yes, that's my job," she muttered as she pushed the PaDD away. "And if this vote decides Vulcan leaves the Federation? What then?"

"Then we shall make a decision together. I am, however, confident that the vote will be to stay. That side has more support then those wishing to leave." What he left out was how he'd be voting.

"Okay," she said quietly.

"I am being selfish am I not wanting to attend the healing rather then Risa." He looked down at his plate. If she said yes then he would vote and head to Risa, perhaps he should anyway.

"Well, you are no good to the children if you are unwell," she countered. "Severine especially would notice. No matter how angry she thinks she is."

He smiled. "She has a temper as full of fire as yours."

She stabbed at her food. He meant well, she was sure but it stung. Because there was no way her step daughter had inherited such a trait from her. Any similar dispositions were coincidence. "So you should go. To the the temple, I mean. Get well."

He studied her. "I have upset you." He sighed. "Please talk to me."

"I'm fine," she insisted as she ruthlessly speared a French fry and bit it in half.

"Alexandra we need to communicate. I know you are mad and you have a right to be but let us talk it out."

"They way you tell it I don't have anything to be mad about though, do I?" she countered as she pushed her plate away, appetite gone. "But no, I'm not mad, Soral. In spite of my fiery temper. Well there may be a little fury in there...

You gave me your word not to keep secrets but still you do it," she pointed out. "Like... when you thought you were seeing the ghost of Evesta. And I know you badly want me to be this ideal mother to your children and I am trying Soral. But, frankly, it hurts if you say one of them is so like me. It's impossible! You mean well, maybe trying to make us seem closer, but it is actually like a slap in the face. I know it probably sounds irrational but it is almost like you are saying 'oh well, we can't have children of our own Alex but isn't it great that Severine has your temper'?!"

Soral just stared her. "I did not mean it that way. You are reading something that is not there. I only meant a conversation that Severine and I had with respect to you before she stopped speaking with me. I am not questioning you as a mother and if it is anyone's fault that we cannot have children of our own then it is with me. As for keeping things I am not. I am telling you now that I am certain that there is an effect."

“You ask me to tell you, then you tell me I’m wrong?!” Alex retorted incredulously. “Why do you always do this? It’s like I’m an errant child being foolish and unreasonable. So what in your eyes can I feel upset about, Soral?”

"I said no such thing Alexandra. I said that I did not mean it that way and that you read it incorrectly or perhaps I conveyed it incorrectly." He always seemed to say the wrong thing with her and perhaps that is why these talks were difficult. Perhaps they needed guidance with their communication.

She was never going to make him understand. If she was upset naturally it was her fault. Silly Human getting all emotional… she stood, reaching for her plate. “I’m gonna change and go for a run,” she said, not missing that Bones was suddenly very much wide awake.

"Alex." He said taking hold of her wrist. "I can sense your thoughts, you think this is a reflection on you it is not. I think we may need assistance with our communication.”

She took a deep breath, “Soral, you are literally inside my head. You can’t get better than that.”

"Yes we can because It appears that no matter what I say I seem to insult or upset you." He stood walking to the little window to the stars. "I fear saying anything anymore for fear of it coming out wrong."

She stared at his back for a long moment before pushing down all of the hurt and anger as she turned and walked out, her PaDD all but flying into her hand as she reached for it. By the time she was out the door she was fighting back angry tears as she headed for the labs. At least there she could do something useful...

OFF: